If a child’s parents are separated or even if they are living together, would not be unusual for social services to consult both parents to make sure that one is not covering something.
Unfortunately, if social services decide that they are going to tell both parents, there is very little you can do about it other than apply to court for an injunction to prevent them telling the child’s father. The court is unlikely to grant that application unless there is some kind of concrete medical evidence which says that it would not be in your daughter’s best interest.
You can ask them whether you can sign any kind of legal disclaimer that you won’t hold them responsible for not sharing the information, but it’s most unlikely that they would accept it.
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I’m sorry, I wish I could give you a more favourable answer that’s the situation. Best wishes.