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Ben Jones
Ben Jones, UK Lawyer
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 48172
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor - Please start your question with 'For Ben Jones'
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I was in a relationship with a man, who, over a period of

Resolved Question:

Hi, I was in a relationship with a man, who, over a period of 18months borrowed a large amount of money from me. He gave me verbal promises, time and time again I would get it back, but I haven't.
The police are not interested as I gave the money of my own free will, albeit I was intimidated and pressured into it 'coersive behaviour' I believe. (He has been arrested 3 times in the past for threatening behaviour)
I met him through an online dating site and have since found out he's done exactly the same thing to another woman before me. We are now in contact with each other.
I really want to try and get some of my money back from this man.
Do you have any advise you can offer me, please?
Submitted: 30 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Ben Jones replied 30 days ago.

Hello, my name is***** am a qualified lawyer and I will be assisting you with your question today.

Expert:  Ben Jones replied 30 days ago.

How much does he owe you and do you have an address for him where you can write to him?

Customer: replied 30 days ago.
163;35000 - unfortunately no. I have no address for him. I have old addresses, but nothing current. It's quite a long story but I don't actually think he has his own residence.
Customer: replied 30 days ago.
Presently I can't afford to make another payment to talk to you.
Customer: replied 30 days ago.
If I can't talk to you, can't you help me then?
Expert:  Ben Jones replied 30 days ago.

No I am going to continue in writing, you can ignore the call offer

Customer: replied 30 days ago.
Ok, thank you
Expert:  Ben Jones replied 30 days ago.

At this stage, you can only realistically get some money back in one of two ways - either by him agreeing to voluntarily pay you back, or by you pursuing him through the courts for it.

Assuming he does not pay anything himself, then your only option is to go via the County Court. You would initially have to make a claim and you will have to pay the court fees for doing so (although there are sometimes you can get discounts if you are on low income).

The court then considers your claim and if they are satisfied you have a good case they can issue a court judgment in your favour. You can then use that judgment to pursue him further for what you are owed by enforcing it against him - you can get things like court bailiffs to try and get some of his property to pay off the debt, you can ask his employer to automatically deduct money from his wages to pay you off and so on.

The issue is that none of this guarantees you will get anything back be cause he can have no assets or avoid these requests and force you to go further and waste more time and money finding a method which works.

Also you have no address for him and whilst you can use his last known address, as you can imagine if he did not know about the claim then it is unlikely he would do anything in order to try and settle it.

So there are options, but far from guaranteed to work and the problem is that they are all you have available to you so they will not be without their own risks.

Please take a quick second to leave a positive rating for the service so far by selecting 3, 4 or 5 stars above. I can continue answering follow up questions and in particular can also discuss the steps you need to follow if you are to take this further. There is no extra cost for this - leaving your rating now will not close the question and means we can still continue this discussion. Thank you

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Customer: replied 30 days ago.
your answer is more or less what I expected - I think I'm going up have to put this down to a very expensive lesson learnt!
Thank you anyway.
Expert:  Ben Jones replied 30 days ago.

Sorry it was not better news, but obviously I need to give you an honest opinion. If you change your mind about pursuing it then of course come back to us and we can discuss it in more detail. All the best