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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34511
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My ex husband has my two boys in his care, due to my mental

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my ex husband has my two boys in his care, due to my mental health issues I have been in hospital in 2015 for a pychotic episode I was very ill. I was diagnosed with biopolor disorder.I came out of hospital in October 2015 I didnt see my 2 boys for nearly a year but started to have contact with them in a contact centre they Were living with my elder sister who made it very difficult for me also social services were involved. Then i applied for custody and won the case under supervision order the social worker was still involved but not for long another social worker took over I was living in Blackburn at the time I had the boys back then I moved back to Manchester where I always lived. Things were going ok with the boys but I was struggling to give them to school every day as I lost my car due to my mental health issues things was getting really hard because I had to use the bus and it was a nightmare and very stressful and had a impact on my mental health. The school Was on to me and prosecuted me and ordered me to pay a fine but still after that I was still struggling to give them to school, then the social worker decided to put it on a child protection order which was wrong and had devastating consequences. Im a single parent and have been looking after my 2 boys for 10 yrs. They are aged 10 and 9. The social worker has made my life hell they accused me of emotional abuse with no evidence or proof which broke my heart. Both my boys have been through a lot but I have always provided for them no matter what. But just recently it's been really hard with the boys with the social worker sticking her nose in and ruining my life it's been horrible. my eldest son's behavior has been really bad and uncontrollable to a point where I have broken down he screams shouts and swears and breaks things If he doesn't get his way and he fights with his little brother where they are punching even strangling each other where one is really badly Hurt they are so strong it's hard for me to control them no matter how much I tell them to stop they weren't listening to me. As time went past some days it was good and some days really bad if my eldest son wanted some thing he would ask me and if I said no then it was hell on this earth I was sometimes scared of him said no but gave in because of all the abuse I was getting of him he didn't appreciate anything at all his way or no way he was learning his little brother the wrong things I tried everything but his behaviour was spiralling out of control. It was affecting my mental health and I couldn't manage anymore so I made the decision to give them to their father it was the hardest decision I made in my life it tore my heart into pieces but I knew they needed discipline, rules and boundaries but at that time I couldn't give them that even though I gave it my 100% nothing seemed to work. They have been with their dad for nearly 8 weeks and I miss them terribly my heart aches my ex husband lives in London so it's hard to travel i have had only contact by phone with my small son and always had a good close relationship with him he understands and aware of things but always looks up to his big brother even if he has to lie, I can always have a good conversation with him over the phone but my eldest son does not want to have any kind of contact with me and refuses to talk to me I have sent him numerous msgs and calls but no reply just one day out of anger he texted me abusive msgs which really hurt me. I was supposed to visit them on 10th of November 2017 but the social worker said I needed a reassment done when i didnt need one and she also said that the boys dont want to see me I'm losing my head what can I do ? Where do I turn to? Who will understand? Who shall I speak to ? My ex husband it also making things difficult for me he doesnt want me have contact because he believes all the lies my eldest son has fed him the only way I had contact was through him I was so happy and so excited to see my 2 boys I bought them expensive gifts toys and clothing and then I hear i can't visit them anymore I felt as though my whole world came crashing down I couldnt stop my tears I couldn't breath.
I haven't done anything wrong except give my 2 boys the best care I could give because of the social worker wrongfully accusing Me of emotional abuse without any evidence or proof had bought me to this position my eldest son hates me and I know for a fact my small son misses me a lot and wants Contact with me as he told me on previous calls but is too confused and doesn't know what to believe. The bot***** *****ne is I haven't been eating sleeping and constantly this thinking about my two boys what can I do I want to make things better.. start having contact with them if my eldest son refuses can I still have contact? For sure my other son wants to see me. My 2 boys are precious to me and I can't lose the risk losing them I already did once. What can I do to see my two boys someone please help all this is killing me.
Submitted: 13 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

Were care proceedings actually started?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Hi no not yet
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
I want to know my rights and if I can still have contact without care proceeding
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

Care proceedings will not now be taken as Social Services will deem that the children are now safe in the care of their father.

The law says that children are entitled to have a good relat

So far as contact is concerned of your ex continues to block contact you may have no choice but to apply to the court for a Child arrangement Order setting out the time that the chidlren spend with you

You can get support from the group here

http://www.matchmothers.org/

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
what if they refuse to see me can i still have contact and if I apply for contact will the court bring up about the emotional abuse? It
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

As part of the process it is likely that the children will be asked what they want.

However they are a little young for their wishes to be the only answer so I would expect contact at a contact centre to be ordered.

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Ok and how does all this work do I need to find a solicitor who will represent me in court? Will the social worker be there. I know the child protection plan will be taken off soon it will go to a child in need, do I need to apply for contact through court I mean my ex doesn't want to be there when I do see the boys that's why it's difficult. How long is the whole process and what are my chances
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

Have you asked your ex if you could see the children at a local contact centre?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
No I haven't but last I spoke to him he was being mean and said the kids don't want to see me and he can't force them
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

Then you need to apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order

You need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment meeting with a family mediator first - then apply to the court using a form C100

Clare and 4 other Law Specialists are ready to help you