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Dr. David
Dr. David, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 42837
Experience:  Board Certified Physician
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My Brother is 44years old. He is unemployed more than employed.

Customer Question

My Brother is 44years old. He is unemployed more than employed. This is because all his personal and work relationships break down, a solid pattern since he was a young child. He has always lied but now we don't know what to believe. There is always drama, at work there are always conspiracies against him. In reality, we believe he is incredibly convincing to begin with and can talk himself into a good job (consultancy with the banks and Nama). Then he doesn't have the substance to support the talk (he does not have a leaving cert or any third level education). He lies and manipulates, things go badly wrong and he is impossible to get rid of. He is always suing someone with his imaginary legal term. He is a very anxious person. Clean freak, he straightens tussels on floor mats. Before any family event he will kick off. There will be drama. He has always been aggressive and fought with his friends. Nowadays he just bullies the women in the family. My mother is in arrears with her mortgage, he wrote to the bank saying that €30k would be deposited within weeks from the sale of another asset (no truth in this) and she was to let the house for €800 pm (lie). He is ringing her incessantly telling her to get out of the house and the bank will be there on Monday to remove all her belongings. He is also bullying his ex wife. When a separation was looming I sat him down to try and get through to him. He admitted that every relationship in his life has gone the same way, he promised that he would always put the boys first and get his relationship with them right. You feel like you get through to him, he cried and said how lonely he was. The next day its like the conversation never happened and he is back in his own world. You would be shocked at what he is capable of. He loves his two boys more than anything. He told his sons that their mum has a boyfriend (lie), her business partner. This business partner is a happily married man but worse, the father of my nephew's (8yrs) best friend who he sits with in school! He has always caused mayhem. But all the adults can hang up the phone, its my nephews that can't go anywhere. He needs to be assessed, a counsellor hasn't worked. The GP route hasn't worked. He needs a highly qulified expirienced professional. He must have some sort of personality disorder, how do we find a psychiatrist and how do we get him there?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 years ago.

Dr. David :

This is Dr. David

Dr. David :

I am sorry for your brother.

Dr. David :

he sounds like he has lots of issues going on like pathological lying, manipulation, he could even have a boarderline personality disorder.

Dr. David :

there are many good private and NHS psychiatrist in the uk, however, if he is not willing to see a psychiatrist, there might not be anything which can be done.

Dr. David :

if he is not an immediate danger to himself or others, he can't be committed to a mental hospital.

Dr. David :

he very well might have broken laws and broken contracts in the past.

Dr. David :

that might eventually catch up with him.

Dr. David :

but he might have learned many of these lying and manipulation techniques as he went through life to try to manage his way through life.

Dr. David :

I am sorry his sons are caught in this.

Dr. David :

it doesn't sound like he would be willing to seek long term counseling or change his ways.

Dr. David :

unfortunately, it sounds like his lying and cheating will eventually catch up with him and he might be convicted of a crime

Dr. David :

I wish there was an easy way to help him, but if he is not willing to receive help from counselors in the past, it is unlikely he will be willing to receive help from a psychiatrist.

Dr. David :

why did you rate poor service?

Dr. David :

hello?

JACUSTOMER-kk1a53w1- : Another dead end. I am no closer to understanding what is wrong with him or what can be done. My nephews will be the biggest victims. They watch what they say so they don't upset Daddy. I could write another long email on them . but what I really need is the name of a well respected psychiatrist in Dublin, Ireland who will be willing to assess/treat him. The whole family and his ex wife are talking about getting together to convince him to get help. Before that we need to find someone who we Confidently believe can help!
Dr. David :

I see.

Dr. David :

let me find someone good there for you.

Dr. David :

the best psychiatrist are usually at university hospital medical centers.

Dr. David :

I am looking at the UCD school of medicine.

Dr. David :

there is a Dr. Alan Carr there.

Dr. David :

professor of clinical psychology there

Dr. David :

this is his email

Dr. David :

[email protected]

Dr. David :

contact him and see if he sees patients and is willing to see your brother for counseling.

JACUSTOMER-kk1a53w1- : thank you. I'll email him.
Dr. David :

you are welcome

Dr. David :

best of luck to you

Dr. David :

let me know if you have other questions

Dr. David :

if done, please leave +++ positive feedback below

Dr. David :

this is the staff directory there

Dr. David :

https://sisweb.ucd.ie/usis/W_STAFF_DIRECTORY.P_WEB_DISPLAY

Dr. David :

please leave +++ positive feedback below if done,

Dr. David :

thanks for using JustAnswers.com

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