Hello, my name is Dr Helen and I hope I can help you today.
I am sorry to hear how you are feeling, this sounds really rotten for you.
A lot of ladies suffer from post natal anxiety and depression and there is increasing evidence that this can persist for years after the birth in some cases. This would explain why your symptoms returned when you stopped the citalopram. Some degree of paranoia can also occur with the anxiety, especially of the sort you describe where you feel distrustful of your partner. Sometimes it is as if the anxiety looks for something to "lock onto", in this case worrying about what your partner is spending money on.
I note that you feel that your original anxiety never fully went away and that after 8 weeks back on citalopram there has been no improvement. This suggests to me that you probably need a different medication to help you. Different people respond differently to drugs and I think you need to discuss using a different drug with your GP, one such example would be a drug called Mirtazepine.
The other thing that could help you a lot is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
This is different to counselling and hypnotherapy, here is a link to a UK site about it:
This can have a dramatic effect on helping people with anxiety as it teaches you coping mechanisms that you can use lifelong.
Again ask your GP about this, it may be available on the NHS for you but it does vary region to region. Otherwise you could have it privately and again your GP should still know where it it available in your area.
On a separate note, it sounds like the hot flushes coincide with your distressing thoughts and are probably a physical symptom of your anxiety (this can happen) but it would be worth asking your GP about doing a simple blood test to check your hormone levels just to see if there is any irregularity there which needs addressing.
There is a lot that can be done to help you with these distressing symptoms so please do seek further help.
Good luck with this.
I joined JustAnswer in June 2013 and am a UK doctor. I have been qualified for 23 years and have widespread experience in GP and cancer care.