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DrRussMD
DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 64922
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
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My 7 year old son goes into melt down and cries when other

Resolved Question:

My 7 year old son goes into melt down and cries when other children do not follow 'the rules'. He feels the need to 'police' everything from insisting his friends follow the football rules when playing to touching an item they're not supposed to touch.

He is an only child, very active in school and socially, and is a well-mannered child. He is excellent in his school work and very intelligent.

Our family consists of him, his dad and me, mum. We are close, go to all his games, events and sit to do homework with him daily. We have family time and he gets his personal time.

He believes that everyone should play and be treated fairly. We talk about life being different to the way he thinks and talk about substitute responses, but he reverts to crying and screaming at others to behave or do what they're supposed to do.

I am concerned that this behaviour grows into anger as he gets older. Can you suggest ways for us to support him?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
Hello from JA
What other activities does he have ?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He plays football, taekwando, sing, act and dance weekly
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
OK
I don't think his concerns are abnormal
What specifically concerns you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I we a seemingly normal child cry and scream when a child or adult does not follow the rules as he sees it. For example his dad tool him out to play football with his friend who didn't pass the ball to him. He stood on the field and screamed at his friend to pass the ball, and when to friend ignored him he screamed until he cried. We had a toddler come to our house who did as toddlers did and touched everything. He spent the 2 hour visit stopping the toddler from touching things, and shouting at us to stop it immediately before the toddler destroys the house. He stopped his uncle and his 2 year old son from playing in a room in his, the uncle's house because I was packing and he didn't want them to mess up the clothes. He argued with him until he cried.

In all cases we've tried to explain that people will not always do what he wants and that's what life is like, but he doesn't seem to understand. I've asked him what he thinks will happen if he leaves people to do their own thing. He says they'll never learn and they've got to learn.

I am concerned that the crying and screaming may turn to anger when he's older.
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
Has he had any assessment by a child psychologist, testing, etc?

And has he had a complete physical?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No.
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
OK
Just from this description this is a response to anxiety, and a sense that he does not have control over things, that if he breaks the rules that there will be a disaster, etc. There is no way anyone could say this would turn into anger.

Some mild to moderate behavioral therapy/stress reduction therapy at this point with a psychologist would probably be enough to help with this and prevent further problems with it.

A Phd clinical psychologist trained in family therapy would be ideal.
Please let me know if you have further questions.
Use reply as needed.
Please do not forget a positive rating.

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