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Ask Dr. David Your Own Question
Dr. David
Dr. David, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 46714
Experience:  Board Certified Physician
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I am a 50 year old male i have been single for 5 years now

Customer Question

I am a 50 year old male i have been single for 5 years now and due to my high sex drive i have been masterbating at least once a day, every day since then i have just entered into a relationship and when we have full penatrative sex i am unable to climax/ ejaculate but i have no problem in ejaculating when i masterbate. ...if i stop masterbating and just have lots of healthy sex ( with a condom of course) will the feeling to ejaculate when i have sex return
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 years ago.

Dr. David :

This is Dr. David

Dr. David :

you could be having some excessive performance anxiety which can keeping you from being able ejaculate with penatrative sex.

Dr. David :

you might also be use to masturbation to climax.

Dr. David :

you can see a sex therapist about this. it would be best if you and your partner would go together.

Dr. David :

there are exercises that you can do together to help improve sex and climax togethter.

Dr. David :

you can show her how you masturbate during sex or foreplay and she can also masturbate you and give oral sex and see if this helps you climax.

Dr. David :

sometime the type of condom you use can make a difference as well.

Dr. David :

have you talked this over with your partner?

JACUSTOMER-3fo9xps1- : I embarressed about it so not talked tp partner i would like to sort it out alone. ...so if i refrain from masterbating will feeling return so that i can climax when having sex
Dr. David :

refraining from masturbating a few days before intercourse could help.

Dr. David :

but to talk to partner about it.

Dr. David :

it is an issue which affects both of you during sex. so best to talk about it.

Dr. David :

not talking about it puts more pressure on you and more pressure and anxiety makes it harder for you to climax.

JACUSTOMER-3fo9xps1- : Cant see how talkibg about it can help i am able to maintain a full erection whilst having sex i just cant climax but have absolulty no problem in climaxing when i masterbate
Dr. David :

yes,

Dr. David :

don't hid the fact that you masturbate from your partner.

Dr. David :

you can show your partner how you masturbate during foreplay.

Dr. David :

and show her how to pleasure you with her hand. and you can pleasure her with your hand as well.

Dr. David :

this will bring the intimacy closer

Dr. David :

and perhaps allow you to also climax better with her.

Dr. David :

does this make sense?

Dr. David :

do you have any other questions?

Dr. David :

hello?

JACUSTOMER-3fo9xps1- : No does not make sense at all i dont want to clumax when masterbating on my own or getting my partner to do if for me i just want to climax normally like any other male - so im not happy with this out cone sorry
Dr. David :

you will eventually be able to climax through intercouse with her

Dr. David :

but you have to slowly move in that direction.

Dr. David :

and take baby steps towards that.

Dr. David :

you have been masturbating by yourself for a long time and this is what your body has been use to .

Dr. David :

so you have to slowly transition to vaginal stimulation which is different from manual stimulation.