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This is Dr. David
it sounds like your partner is not being a very fair partner to you.
you have to work out this care funds with him.
you can separate from him and not live with him anymore.
that might be the best option.
that way you can separate and cut ties with him and he will not be allowed to use your care allowance money.
once you threaten to separate from him, he might be more cooperative.
until then, he probably will continue to use your funds.
do you have questions?
are you willing to separate from him?
are you married to him?
it sounds like you might benefit from couples counseling
although it sounds like he is not willing to go.
you can open a new bank account
and have your care allowance deposited into your own bank account
you have to open up a new bank account.
and have your carers account funds deposited into your own bank account.
I would open a new bank account
and contact someone at the DLA.
read more here
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