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Ask Dr. Phil, MD Your Own Question
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 55497
Experience:  GP in the United States
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i am a woman who has had this crush on another woman at my

Resolved Question:

i am a woman who has had this crush on another woman at my work
she caught me looking her up and down in tesco one day and ever since then we have been flirting.


laughing at my not so funny jokes.
brushing past me so close sometimes could always feel my hair move
standing up close behing me feel chest on my back
when i started stroking her arm and moving into her personal space alot one day she seemed happy enough and said she was shaking
once when i had my hand on counter she put her hand right next to mine
i brushed past her once slowly and deliberately she then started standing in my personal space and then when my arm
was resting on counter she put her arm next to mine.
couple of times glanced across room smiling at each other
couple of sexual innuendos were she stood close up behind me again and i was doing the order and she said thats come
thats come, come come come
then once when she said come in the back with me
standing close up to me so that are arms and feet touch
arms touching on counter
caught me looking her up and down again and her eyes lit up and she did that flirty giggling.
not often but they are days when she accidentally bumps into me alot.
refers to us as 'we' alot

i confronted her over text message, just being friendly wanting to know what if anything is going on
and she has reported me for sending the text messages

but sometimes i worry if i am delusional and am misreading signals
maybe cause i doubt myself all the time and have no confidence?
surely from this list i am not delusional??
making me crazy and am really worried. i have caused all this trouble over nothing
as HR are getting involved and everything
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 3 years ago.

Dr. Phil, MD :

Hello. I'm Dr. Phil, licensed and practicing internist. Excellent service is my goal.

Dr. Phil, MD :

Hi there. I'm Dr. Phil.

Customer:

hello

Dr. Phil, MD :

Can I ask your first name?

Customer:

jenny

Dr. Phil, MD :

Hi Jenny. Nice to meet you.

Dr. Phil, MD :

I read your post.

Customer:

nice to meet you, thanks for reading post

Dr. Phil, MD :

Is this woman gay? Are you sure of that or you were just "testing the water" so to say?

Customer:

no dont know if she was gay. never meant to check her out in tesco that day it just happened! she has had ex husbands in the past. but feel like she is flirting with me

Dr. Phil, MD :

That is very possible.

Dr. Phil, MD :

What did your text say?

Customer:

problem is she was always talking about her ex husband in work, well sometimes anyway but i didnt see that as a prob.

Dr. Phil, MD :

ok.

Dr. Phil, MD :

What did the text say?

Customer:

well i got myself into a right mess. i felt she was hinting to come round my house with various things that she said to me. so she came round acted like nothing was going on. but i felt like i needed to talk to her. so i said were you hinting to come round?

Customer:

she denied it

Customer:

so i text her saying do you think i like you that way?

Dr. Phil, MD :

And she told them you were harassing her?

Customer:

she didnt respond so i text not accusing you of anything, just feel like we are playing mind games

Dr. Phil, MD :

I see.

Customer:

no text so i said i like you that way but dont encourage me and mess with my feelings if u are not that way inclined

Customer:

so she reported me for the texts

Customer:

i just thought we could have an adult conversation

Dr. Phil, MD :

I see. Harassment

Dr. Phil, MD :

they said?

Customer:

got myself into a mess then

Customer:

no they havent said anything yet

Dr. Phil, MD :

I don't think you were harassing her

Dr. Phil, MD :

However, I can tell you from experience that relationships at work are a bad idea

Customer:

oh thats ok then my heart stopped!

Dr. Phil, MD :

They rarely ever work out and then you are stuck working with that person 8-10 hours a day

Customer:

i know i wish i had never gotten involved i just had alot of feelings for her

Dr. Phil, MD :

Yes, that is hard.

Dr. Phil, MD :

I'm sorry

Dr. Phil, MD :

There are a few possibilities as to why she did this

Dr. Phil, MD :

1)She is the type of person that flirts a lot with no real intention

Dr. Phil, MD :

2)She isn't interested

Dr. Phil, MD :

3)she is interested but struggling with her own sexuality

Customer:

i am really worried that i have misread the signals and that i am going to come off as some delusional woman obsessed with her

Customer:

yes that was one of my theries

Dr. Phil, MD :

I don't think that will happen

Dr. Phil, MD :

I would just tell her

Dr. Phil, MD :

Say that you misread signals and you are sorry. It won't happen again.

Dr. Phil, MD :

Problem solved

Customer:

well at the moment i have been required to work somewere else untill the matter is resolved

Dr. Phil, MD :

Okay. I would request a meeting with her and HR and explain.

Dr. Phil, MD :

Tell them that you are not obsessed and that you simply misread signals.

Dr. Phil, MD :

This is precisely why even flirting at work is a bad idea

Customer:

yeah thanks i will do that. i guess that no one knows if misread her signals cause not in her head but is that what u think that she struggling with her sexuality?

Dr. Phil, MD :

Yes, I think so.

Dr. Phil, MD :

That is a lot of signals to misread!

Customer:

thanks you have made me feel so much better!

Dr. Phil, MD :

you're welcome :)

Customer:

bye

Dr. Phil, MD :

Did I do excellent work for you Jenny?

Dr. Phil, MD :

If so, would you be so kind as to rate me excellent?

Customer:

yes never used this site before what do i do now?

Dr. Phil, MD :

just rate the excellent face-click it

Dr. Phil, MD and 5 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 3 years ago.
I noticed that our chat is not complete.

A positive rating is the only way I am credited for my work. However, my main goal is your 100% satisfaction. If you are satisfied, please rate positively. If not, just click reply and I will happily provide more information.