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Dr. Thomas, MD
Dr. Thomas, MD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 63757
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
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Why do I have few male friends even though I am well balanced

Customer Question

Why do I have few male friends even though I am well balanced and normal?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
hello
You seem to have answered your own question

I guess I should ask you, why are you concerned?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Point taken , but I think these reasons are not enough to put off my previous male friends who did like me and confided in me.


We all have failings but the ones I recognise in myself do not seem strong enough to warrant rejection.Maybe if you knew me you could see the reasons. You can accept some failings in a person if you like other traits sufficiently.


To answer your question I am concerned because I want a more in depth relationship with men. I have a lovely female partner but I feel to live in a womans world, like a lot of men I guess, so I have even considered a meeting gay men for confiding in - but not for sex- if that combination is possible!?


I do not get the response I want from most men, maybe because I expect too much bonding as in my university days, or too much from relationships in general I am in a male voice choir and enjoy it partly for the bonding but no-one seems to match me in my interests and aptitudes. I get on better with women- partly because they seem more agreeable. Would you recommend some psychological analysis- either self or professional. Is my problem just part of my nature or can I learn more effective strategies. Is there an on-line forum you can recommend?

Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
Are there sexual identity concerns here?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Please reply to the 2nd message I sent 2 hours ago
Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
Hello
I did not get your reply to my question.
Any sexual identity concerns here on your part?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I do not have any sexual identity concerns. I am a normal male.


 


Could you respond to the part of my previous message shown here:


Would you recommend some psychological analysis- either self or professional. Is my problem just part of my nature or can I learn more effective strategies. Is there an on-line forum you can recommend?

Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
Sorry I did not get that before. Some posts will not come through from your end, this one did not. Please use reply to expert, not relist, if this happens again.

Your "problem" can be simply your personality.
The fact that it bothers you means it IS a problem.
Such patterns often have to to with childhood and parental child relationships.

You are not expressing anxiety or depression.

This is more a job for a PhD clinical psychologist trained in family therapy [most are] and cognitive behavioral therapy [most are] which has the highest evidence base currently for efficacy.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions.
Please to not forget a positive rating.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My family background and schooling were happy and normal.


I agree it could be some aspects of my personality, but which would affect my relationships with males so much more than females?


I am masculine enough eg I can be aggressive (unintentionally) and insensitive to others , but also am in touch with my feminine side- so maybe that sounds a bit mixed up or just complex?


Are there any online personality tests that you could recommend?


 


Thank you for your comments so far, I feel to be making progress.

Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
The tendencies to be agressive an the other things you mention do not necessarily indicate that childhood was without trauma. Few childhoods are.
The answer to your questions is something that gets worked out with a practitioner, not a self assessment with a test which are designed to be given properly, and analyzed professionally. Other than for depression, I recommend no on line personality tests.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions.
Please to not forget a positive rating.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Did you get my message sent at 15:43 EST?
Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
Hello
Please use reply
No I have not received a message since my last message you you.
I will repeat it here.

The tendencies to be aggressive an the other things you mention do not necessarily indicate that childhood was without trauma. Few childhoods are.
The answer to your questions is something that gets worked out with a practitioner, not a self assessment with a test which are designed to be given properly, and analyzed professionally. Other than for depression, I recommend no on line personality tests.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions.
If you use reply to expert immediately it tends to work consistently
Please to not forget a positive rating.
Expert:  Dr. Thomas, MD replied 2 years ago.
Simply use reply to expert
responded immediately to your post; not sure you are getting these in a timely way.

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