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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 18891
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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My son is 16 living in kent in a boarding school,Im divorced

Customer Question

My son is 16 living in kent in a boarding school,I'm divorced and his mother was very very taugh with him.a year ago he came out saying he is gay,athiast and now he is dressed as a girl with full make up and every thing. He tried to commite suicide 5 times last year.is all what is happening to him a transitional or that's him for life.he started to experiment with women makeup and watch gay porn when he was 8-10.we r not British but from Egypt coming from somewhat closed and conservative society
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
It will help if you could provide some further information:
Has he been in counselling?
Has he been taking any medicines for depression?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He was in counseling around 7 month ago but I think. Was not helpful.he was admitted once were he was given anti depressant but refused to take them.ingeneral he never had anti depressant and he would refuse to take any as he doesn't believe there is any problem with him and that he is normal and that is the way he is,even since he was born
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

Well, there are some issues that are clearly a problem, which is that he attempted suicide 5 times, and counseling and/or antidepressants would be appropriate to address the depression that is the usual condition that causes a person to attempt suicide.

Regarding your concerns about whether the fact that he identifies himself as gay and an atheist, there are several issues to discuss. First, it is true that gay adults will say that they have always been gay, and the medical evidence supports that certain people are born that way. However, it is also true that adolescence is a period of experimentation and many people may go through a phase in which there is some homosexual experimentation that will later end and the person will consider themselves to be heterosexual. When dealing with adolescents that identifies themselves as gay, it is impossible to differentiate those that will continue to consider themselves gay as an adult from those that are going through a period of experimentation.

The spiritual perception that he is an atheist does not appear to have any medical or biological basis, and many people may go through phases in which they consider themselves to be atheists.

Although these other issues may be the most troubling to you, from a medical perspective, the fact that he has attempted suicide 5 times is far more concerning than these other issues. Adolescent suicide is frighteningly common, and if he is successful the next time that he attempts suicide, then no one will ever know whether his perception of self will change as he matures into adulthood.

The reason that he should be considered for treatment with an antidepressant and/or counseling is because of the concern about depression and suicide risk. Counseling has never been shown to help a homosexual person become a heterosexual person. Counseling can help address any feeling of discordance within his sense of self, but it should not be viewed as a means for "treatment" of the fact that he perceives himself as gay. On the other hand, if the underlying depression is affecting his self-perception, then optimal treatment of the depression will allow him to best discover his true nature.

Therefore, at this point, your best approach would be to encourage the optima; treatment for the depression, including antidepressants and/or counseling. You should present it as management of the depression, not as treatment for being gay. Then, as he finishes maturing into adulthood, then his true nature will emerge.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
What further information are you seeking?

Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
I notice that you have relisted the question, but have not replied to my request to clarify what further information is desired.

At this point, the answer above is the best that can be said about his situation.

Please let me know if there is any further information that will be helpful.