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DrRussMD
DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 65301
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
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Hi. Me and my husband sometimes have problems in the bedroom

Resolved Question:

Hi. Me and my husband sometimes have problems in the bedroom he sometimes fails to get an erection with me usually when it's a special occasion like when I was pregnant, Shen we got engaged, valentines night sometimes just randomly. He says its phycological that there is pressure and thinks that is the cause and sometimes money worries. But I honestly think its because he is no longer attracted to me and today makes me think it all the more, he was admited to hospital today with kidney stones so he was on a lot of morphine but when the female doctor was examining He got a semi erection. I am so angry and hurt and I am now totally convinced I am the problem for his lack of being able to perform. Can you please help and give me some advice as I feel this problem could end the marriage.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
Hello
A difficulty getting an erection is not something you can attribute to yourself or his attraction for you.
Indeed psychological problems, metabolic problems, prostate problems, and circulation as well as hormonal problems can account for this.

You have not mentioned that he has had any work up or any therapy.

If he is willing to pursue the causes of this, and the correct therapy, then clearly he is not unattracted to you.

This evaluation should start with his doctor.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions. [click reply to expert].
Please do not forget a positive rating.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No he has not had therapy but has said he would go. I understand what your saying about it might not be me but I have tried to stimulate him during this problem but sometimes with no luck so I guess what I'm asking is why did he then get a semi erection with this female doctor just examining him there, surly he must have felt aroused by her doing it? But then has a problem when it comes to me. I am confused
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
He was on medications, and his erections are not under control.
This could have been a reflex, erections occur spontaneously, even when one is sick.

You are making evaluations up in your head, but not based on what he is telling you or on his medical/psychological condition.
The therapy should be for both of you, a PhD clinical psychologist trained in family therapy...so that you also have your emotions considered, and so you are part of the improvement in communications.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions. [click reply to expert].
Please do not forget a positive rating.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He did say when I confronted him about it that he didn't feel that happening but I didn't believe him. Feel a bit silly now and bad for not taking his word for it now. Thank you
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 3 years ago.
You are welcome.
This is a perfect time to get the family therapy...so that other things don't come up on the future.
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