Hello. I'm Dr. Phil, licensed and practicing internist. Excellent service is my goal.
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I don't think this is horrible but it does not create healthy boundaries
I understand you want to spend time with him and miss him and I'm sure he misses you but I would recommend weaning off this
I have tried getting him to sleep in his own room. Firstly his room was upstairs next to his sister and so I moved him downstairs to the room next to mine, but that only lasted a couple of nights. Then he wanted this new bunk bed, so I got him that, but that didn't work either. If I lie with him while he goes to sleep, he will sleep through to the morning without knowing I am not there. I suppose the thing is that I travel internationally extensively. We live in France but the last few months I have been in Africa, India, the Middle East and all over Europe. I feel so bad travelling so much while he is still so young that it doesn't seem that much to ask and I just feel it will dwindle with time, I suppose.
and that is a very rational point of view
I just think you have to make efforts to wean it over time
you could start by explaining it to him
Before I started my career I also worked as a nanny for many families for many years and I am very intuitive with children and have obviously seen lots and lots of different styles and issue with parenting. I don't often question my parenting as it is very instinctive with me and my children who have mostly be raised by me as so well balanced and do really well at school and everyone praises their manners and kindness etc, wherever we go. We are somewhat of an unconventional family anyway.....
Tell him that as he gets older, it is healthy for him to sleep in his own bed and keep his privacy
I don't think it is horrible like your ex husband does by any means
I believe that you should make efforts to lessen it rather than letting it dwindle naturally
because there is no guarantee it will
When you say explain it to him........I'm just unsure what to say. As for privacy, last year my ex caught my son and a friend of my son showing each other their willy's. My ex went absolutely ballistic and my son was quite traumatised by it. he kept going on about privacy and how no-one should every see him undressed etc and it took quite some undoing, because my son suddenly got really upset about it all, so I am a little cautious about that. We live on the Mediterrean just a few miles from Italy. Children here run around the beach when they are little with nothing on or certainly get changed into their swimwear on the beach. Nudity just a big deal and suddenly I had a child that thought it was "naughty" to even get undressed in front of me because of his fathers lecture about "privacy". Perhaps, I should start a "reward chart" type system which might help. I think one of the reasons that my ex is unhappy is because my son doesn't want to stay at his house very much. He tells me that when he has nightmares and goes though to his father, he says that he is a baby. I suppose I could try another attempt to lessen it....
are you there Rachel?
Yes, I'm here....
Do you have more questions for me Rachel?
Overall, it sounds like you are an excellent mom
No. Thanks for your help and guidance.
Did I do good work for you today Rachel?
Yes. Thank you very much
you're welcome :)