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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 31243
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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Hello, I separated from my husband for 7 weeks because i thought

Resolved Question:

Hello,
I separated from my husband for 7 weeks because i thought i had feelings for another man. I realised i had made a mistake and we got back together 3 months ago.

However, i have been unable to settle and keep getting panic attacks. Everything in our relationship is fine but i keep obsessing over his looks. I look at every part of his face for bits i might not like. I wake up at 4.30 and panic all morning until he gets up, wondering if i will like him when he comes downstairs, then i check and if he looks ok at that moment i am relieved for a bit but then i start panicking again.

If he goes out a worry constantly incase i dont like his face when he comes home.

Things were never like this before, and i know he is a good looking man. On the odd moments i forget about this everything is fine. Intimacy is also fine whereas i wouldn't think if would be if i genuinely didnt like his looks. Sometimes he looks great to me.

Please help, i cant eat, sleep or work. My life is over. My doctor prescribed me escitalopram for 15 weeks which didnt help and has now switched me to citalopram.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
Hi--first question here--have you seen a therapist like a psychologist about this?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes seeing a psychologist at the moment

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
And how is that going Sarah--can I ask what the therapy is like?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

We are doing Acceptance and Commitment therapy. He tells me not to take my thoughts as being the literal truth. Just accept the thoughts aree there and dont react to them, ignore them and carry on, but this is difficult to do when they are so distressing

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
I understand. Do you have an assignment like writing down the thoughts and the associated feelings and then writing down arguments as to why they are misdirected and illogical?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
Well, he's hinting at something called cognitive behavioral therapy but just trying to ignore the thoughts doesn't work. You need to accept the thoughts and feelings and then, step by step, argue against them. It takes time but it will get you over this in time. And medication can sometimes help here, but since the problem is the thoughts and then the feelings they bring on, the real therapy has to be CBT. Ask your psychologist about this
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