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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 32221
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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I dont know where to begin, I hate getting into a fight with

Resolved Question:

I don't know where to begin, I hate getting into a fight with my boyfriend, and walk away, which he hates because the issue is not resolved. I get upset over the smallest thing only because if i'm in bad form and a few things upset me one will really set me off. i find it difficult to explain myself also
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
Hi--how long have you been having this problem and can you expand a bit on what's happening?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I've been feeling like this for about a year on and off, its like i've mood swings. I could be in good form when i meet him, sometimes bad form and he could start poking me or being cheeky and i would just draw into myself. i want him to hug me or something and wen he doesn't i just retreat. sometimes i snap out of it and other times i leave him in worse form.


 


 

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
Is this just a problem with you and him or are you having problems in other areas--social, work, etc?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

At times its stress from work or home that i do take out on him, its like he's an easy target

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
OK--have the two of you discussed this problem?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes in the end but it only sorts it for that day. He usually get it out of me that its something not relating to him, even when we fight i tell my boyfriend he can break up with me but he always says that no one is perfect. alot of the time it comes back to something with my dad, he may have made a comment or upset me or something at home. i fear my dad, wen i was young if i pushed him too far in a fight he used to hurt me and anytime i fight with my boyfriend i think it could happen again with him i suppose. I don't know how to feel comfortable. I've told my boyfriend numerous times i want to move out of home that that might sort it but finances are holding me back. i don't know what to do to be happy.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
OK Marie. Are you at the point now where you'd be willing to get some help for yourself with this?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes, Its not fair on my boyfriend getting the brunt of my bad form

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
Good. I don't think you have a major emotional problem like bipolar disorder or anything like that but I think counseling with a clinical psychologist would help you greatly here. It sounds like you need a combination of anger management and cognitive behavioral therapy to get at the root of the problem and to learn how to fight it and to learn how to deal with it in a way that doesn't affect your relationship with your boyfriend. Ask your family doctor to help here to get you the appropriate referral.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Is there anything i can do before going to my doctor to see would that help me??

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 3 years ago.
Here's a link that will help for now but really nothing can replace face to face therapy with a qualified therapist

http://www.hpft.nhs.uk/_uploads/documents/help-for-adults/cbt-workshop-booklet_web.pdf
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