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Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 18653
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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Hi, my husband watches videos online most of the time when

Resolved Question:

Hi, my husband watches sex videos online most of the time when me and my daughter are not home. My first question is: is it normal if a guy wathes sex videos time to time? Second question: is it normal if he hides it when you realise and ask about it? Third question: how should I react as a wife?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
Hello from JustAnswer.

There is no clear answer to your question, as it is more of a societal and behavioural issue, rather than a medical question. What is considered normal sexual behaviour is constantly changing in different social structures. There are certain countries in which it is still illegal for consenting adults to engage in homosexual sex or any heterosexual encounter other than penile-vaginal sex.

Looking at studies that have been done in the US: If we define normal as what the majority of people in a social group are doing, then men watching porn is normal. If we define normal as what a significant portion of the people in a social group are doing, then many other sexual behaviours are normal, such as oral sex and heterosexual anal sex. Although I am not familiar with similar studies done in other countries, there is likely a different perspective in certain countries and cultures.

Regardless of how normal is defined, the problems that arise are when two members of a couple have a different perspectives towards a particular sexual behaviour, so that it affects the relationship, or when any behaviour is done to excess. Standard penile-vaginal sex can be done in a destructive manner, if it interferes with other aspects of life, such as being able to keep a job. It also can create a problem in a relationship if either member of the relationship impses their perspective on their partner.

If he thinks that you would be displeased with discovering that he is watching porn, it is normal for him to hide the porn.

As for how you should react, that is up to you. Every married couple needs to discuss and discover how they will approach many different aspects of their sexual relationship, including some of the different sexual practices noted above. If you feel hurt, then it is appropriate to discuss how it makes you feel. However, there are many different ways that couples address these issues, and there is no single correct way, so I can't be the one to tell you how you should react. You should react in a way that is congruent with how it makes you feel and how the two of you have come to terms with all of the other issues that have been adressed during the course of your marriage.

If I can provide any clarification, please let me know.

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