How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask DrRussMD Your Own Question

DrRussMD
DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 63989
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
24257177
Type Your Medical Question Here...
DrRussMD is online now

Hi, My stepdaughter who is 9 years old has been stealing

Resolved Question:

Hi,

My stepdaughter who is 9 years old has been stealing from me. During my business trip away, she stole £300 worth of make up and jewellery etc. She and brother lives wit us on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Monday and Wednesdays she lives with her mother. if she is with us on a Friday she will go to her mothers on a Saturday and the next weekend vice a versa. I have a good relationship with my partners son who is 14. Both my children 8 and 10 loves my partner and the 5 of us live very happily as a unit. The daughter is completely against any rules we have in the house and doesn't not want to contribute to the house but is moody, destructive and tends to bully other children. It has become more evident over the course of the last 2 years that the girl cannot operate in a group environment unless all attention is on her. It doesn't help that the mother is bitter and has tried to all avail to split us up. We have all been together for 5 years and I am concerned about this child and very angry that she is stealing from me. I need advice please on how to deal with this. I have spoken to the dad but he blames me as he doesn't spend enough time with her expects the role to be mine. The mother causes a lot of stress in the household and the fathers believes I should allow the mother to come and go as she pleases for "the sake of the kids". He makes excuses for her behaviour as she does carry a lot weight and combines with the guilt, does not punish her when she does wrong but will instead direct the frustration to another. Please help....
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
Hello
In fact the burden should not be on you.
Has this child had help from any therapist?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No not as yet

Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
OK
There are a number of possibilities here.
Simple emotional acting out because of the family dynamic.
The beginning of the formation of a personality disorder.
Contributing problems: ADHD, conduct disorder, etc.

That MUST be assessed by a clinical psychologist, a child psychologist.
And by the child's physician to make sure there are no physical inputs such as thyroid disease. Both practitioners need to be involved.

This is not self help and certainly not your job, as this needs professional intervention, and that is what you should be focusing on.

In addition, family therapy should be considered by the psychologist, as needed.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions [click reply to expert].
Please do not forget a positive rating [hopefully you will click an excellent; or come back to ask me more as needed].

DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 63989
Experience: Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
DrRussMD and other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

How do I broach this subject with my partner? How do I convince him that he needs to speak to the mother and deal with this before it turns out even worse?

Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
I really recommend that you see the psychologist first, one who has training in family therapy, in order to present the entire situation.

This is often more powerful as it invites your partner in first, over the concern of the child.

Family therapy is more powerful for the child, and the child can have the individual assessments within this context.

So
The approach.
Find a PhD clinical psychologist who does family therapy and child assessments. Invite your partner to go with you. If your partner does not, then the therapist will help you develop a communicative strategy, for the sake of the child, and I doubt your partner would hold back at this point.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions [click reply to expert].
Please do not forget a positive rating [hopefully you will click an excellent; or come back to ask me more as needed].

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I feel so much better today, and upon further investigation believe that there is a chance that the responses I got saved me FROM a serious, even life threatening situation. I am very grateful to the experts who answered me. Susan O.
< Previous | Next >
  • I feel so much better today, and upon further investigation believe that there is a chance that the responses I got saved me FROM a serious, even life threatening situation. I am very grateful to the experts who answered me. Susan O.
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Family Physician

    Family Physician

    Doctor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2418
    GP with over 27 years experience including emergency medicine
< Previous | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/FA/FamilyPhysician/2013-8-31_191624_JA550x500Photo.64x64.jpg Family Physician's Avatar

    Family Physician

    Doctor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2418
    GP with over 27 years experience including emergency medicine
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DO/DoctorRich/2012-9-12_72454_Doctorweb.64x64.jpg Dr. Natasha's Avatar

    Dr. Natasha

    Doctor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7887
    American Board Certified in Emergency Medicine, Ivy League trained
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrK99/newpic2.64x64.jpg Dr. K.'s Avatar

    Dr. K.

    Board Certified MD

    Satisfied Customers:

    255
    Board certified with experience in primary care.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/agketch/2008-7-14_184046_drketchresized.jpg Dr. Ketch's Avatar

    Dr. Ketch

    Board Certified Physician

    Satisfied Customers:

    76
    Medical Degree, Former Assistant Professor at School of Medicine at Yale University
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JA/JACUSTOMERjtu60wne/2011-2-14_183449_passportphoto2.64x64.jpg docwithheart's Avatar

    docwithheart

    Board Certified Physician

    Satisfied Customers:

    0
    Board certified pediatrician, with special experience in general pediatrics, hospital pediatrics, and pediatric cardiology
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/drappapo/2013-8-16_22576_drdavid.64x64.jpg Dr. David's Avatar

    Dr. David

    Board Certified Physician

    Satisfied Customers:

    224
    Treat children/young adults, former chief resident, multiple publications
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TA/tazechip/2012-6-7_135230_drpic.64x64.png Dr. Chip's Avatar

    Dr. Chip

    Board Certified Physician

    Satisfied Customers:

    12373
    20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
 
 
 

Related Medical Questions