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it sounds like you and him would do well with seeing a sex therapy or a sex counselor.
he could be more into quirky sex now that he is older and is more interested in watching those videos online.
it can be tough to keep sex interesting for men and for women at your age.
it sounds like you have bent over backwards to put effort into the sexual relationship.
he has to put some effort into it as well.
but talking about it with a sex therapist can help if you two are having a hard time discussing your sexual needs and desires with each other.
men often have a hard time expressing their sexual desires and wishes
it is very legitimate how you feel about him and his internet distractions.
do you think he will be willing to see a sex therapist with you to help him talk about his feelings and sexual desires
this could help improve communication between you two and help improve the sex
and when the sex improves, the relationship should improve.
Communication is quite good - certainly on my part. I have an understanding and gentle approach, however., my partner definitely finds it more difficult and more importantly I think he has trouble being honest with me. Just talking things through leaves him cold and I know he worries that he is not giving me the satisfaction that I need.
You may well be right and a therapist/counsellor might help the situation - not sure how receptive he will be to this though