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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 18777
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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I am extremely worried about my Grandson. He is four years

Resolved Question:

I am extremely worried about my Grandson. He is four years old and appears to be acting out in a strange way, which in turn is making his father very angry. He has started peeing on the floor in his bed room. He has urinated on his pillow, on the walls and tried to urinate on his two year old brothers head while he was sleeping. When his father tries to try to get an explanation out of him and ask him why he's behaving in this way he screams.
I do know that my son is a very angry person and that he has shown the younger child ore affection at times. Is this normal behaviour for a four year old and am I reading too much into this stiuation?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
Hello from JustAnswer.

It is not considered normal that a 4 year old would exhibit this behaviour, but it is also usually not a sign of significant illness. A 4 year old may exhibit such behaviour when they are feeling stressed, and there are numerous possible sources of such stress. It could be related to feeling a loss of affection because of the younger sibling. It could be a response to how the parents are acting towards him. It could be a response to parental discord that does not directly affect him, other than he is living in the home.

In most cases, trying to be supportive and talk with the child about the behaviour will usually lead to improvement in the behaviour over time. Most 4 years olds do not have the insight into how they feel to accurately reflect the stress that they feel, but a discussion about the importance of the adverse consequences of the behaviour is appropriate. If the issue persists, it may help to see a child counsellor, but the behaviour will usually improve with time without specific intervention.

If I can provide any clarification, please let me know.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you doctor,

I am also wondering if my son's anger is having an acverse affect on my Grandson and what can i do to help them both?

Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 3 years ago.
Certainly, it is possible that one of the possible sources of stress is from interactions with a parent expressing significant anger, particularly if occurring in situations in which anger would usually not occur. This could be anger expressed towards the grandson or anger expressed towards others that is witnessed by the grandson.

You can try discussing the issue with your son directly, but many people with anger issues need more than a discussion from people close to them (whether family or friends). If direct discussion is not successful, then it may be more effective to encourage seeking counselling to address the issue.