They are saying that they do not have the capacity for intravenus feeds nor injections. Unfortunately Mum does not want to come up to Norfolk and my Sister isn't up to looking after her, she goes to pieces in a crisis.
I am worried that, as at the moment there is not a family member present, there is nobody to ascertain what decision is made by the doctor if he says she is mentally incapable of understand that she MUS have medication and/or food.
I am willing to stand firm against the home and stand up for my Mother's wishes but I am concerned that they might take a decision to pack her off to hospital with no come back from the relations.
It's not that we would complain if they didn't keep her alive, she no longer wants to live like this, in bed all day long (apart from bathing and essential services) but we don't want her forced to live when she doesn't want this.
Sorry for delay, I have emailed the Home to reiterate my Mother's wishes, as yet they have not replied to me.
I suppose the Home will release the Doctor's phone number, he is not resident at the Home?
What do I do if they refuse to let me phone him?
OK that seems pretty comprehensive, I would like to thank you very much for helping with a very upsetting situation, I do appreciate the time you took to help me.
Unfortunately I was out when the Home phoned my Sister she didn't have the gumption to stand up to the Home and Mum has been carted off to Poole Hospital, which is the last place Mum wanted to be.
Oh honestly, some people are frightened of their own shadow.
Could I just ask is it normal in Nursing Homes that nurses are not permitted to give patients injections for pain?
My emails to the Home have resulted in them cancelling the ambulance to Poole Hospital and I will have a discussion with them in a minute.
I have had a rather heated conversation with the Nurse at the Home and I have told her firmly that she is in no way to send my Mother to Hospital and no further action is to be taken by the home until I have spoken to my Mother tomorrow afternoon.
She said she had phone their doctor who said he didn't think that what is wrong with Mum isn't reversible but again I told her that she must not take any action until I have spoken to Mum and obviously them. Mum wants to die now this is why she is refusing treatment she's 96 and has had enough. My feeling is that not enough care was taken in chosing a home for her basing that decision on how close it was to my sister's bungalow the home being literally 3/4 minutes away.
Am I permitted to take this step in refusing Mum to be taken to hospital, obviously I will need to pay you more than the basic amount.
Goodness me what a day, the Home tried to find out where I got my information but I have not disclosed this, as it is nothing to do with them.
Everything is being left now until I get there tomorrow and I have told them I want a face to face consultation with someone in authority.
Thanks again for your help in this very upsetting time.
Had another phone call from the Home who have contacted their doctor and he has given them instructions to send Mother to hospital after all. He says its because she has an urine infection, but let's face it drugs can be given for that sure in the home. It seems they are unwilling to do anything at all but are not prepared to say they can't look after her, they are covering themselves by saying "They have a duty of care" to make sure she is comfortable and they cant do that because Mum keeps throwing her arms up so they cant get near her. Unfortunately, this is how Mum behaves if she doesn't want to do something or be examined she acts physically. I have gained the name of the person sending her against my wishes andmy Mothers and her position in the home. I am assuming if Mum refuses treatment at the hospital they cant force her am I right with that?
Oh dear, as I am going down to Bournemouth tomorrow I had better do this personally at Poole Hospital.
Can we keep this q&a open until I return home on Wednesday, please?
Can the home get away with sending mum to hospital just by saying the doctor told them to do it, or do they have to comply with the patients wishes? I'll leave you alone after this until Wednesday when I will have the complete picture.!!