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DrRussMD
DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 63850
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
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This is about my ex partner.. I've been with him 2 years,

Customer Question

This is about my ex partner..
I've been with him 2 years, we had an on off relationship through out..
He has left me three times saying he didn't feel he made me happy.
His ways were quite changeable, he is self employed and often would state he had all this money coming in but felt it was pointless because he didn't need it.
But I needed it for bills, furniture etc.. He never once mentioned, he would rant at night how he didn't fit into society. He felt a misfit and wouldnt converse with anyone that didn't engage his brain. He could be quite rude to folk if out.
He would say folk should approach with caution.
He would be happy one minute then sad the next day if his business wasn't going fast enough, he often said the world doesn't go fast enough and he felt he belonged in years to come.
He would leave me when the going got tough, without explanation.
He also had deviant sexual fantasies that I'm sure he wanted me to try, would say about watching me with a guy..
He told me years ago he slept with a few prostitutes and some were trans gender.
He also told me while bringing up step kids from a past marriage he fed them cat food for fun.
He asked to see me last week and I said no, not yet as I didn't feel strong enough emotionally and knew it would hurt.
But he turned up anyway crying and pleading to get back and marry etc..
Yet days later he's saying all the reasons we didn't work.
Basically I'm asking if there's any mental problem here?
I do psychology myself and have tried to understand.
There's many more things he says and does that I forget.
He can be very loving, Intensely at times so much so he analyses me and sometimes thinks I'm not with him when I am.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
Hello
As you know, a diagnoses can not be made on this site.
Nothing in your story in and of itself indicates a specific diagnoses of a mental problem.
However, in general the behavior sounds unstable in specific ways.
a. intimacy with relationships.
b. communication problems
c. mood problems.
This can all be symptoms of a number of different diagnoses: personality disorder, mood disorder, bi polar disorder, and others.
That would need formal assessment.
My thought would be that you re enter this relationship only under professional guidance of a family therapist, PHD psychologist.
OK, so that is an initial answer….
Please use reply to expert if you have further questions. When you are ready, please click a positive rating [hopefully excellent]. If you forgot something, come back. I am here daily.
DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 63850
Experience: Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
DrRussMD and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you, ***** ***** narcissistic traits but some of the traits don't fit..
He struggles to fit in norm society.
Says he won't be a clone stone, he's happy to be a misfit.
He feels out of sync with folk and daily life some days.
The list goes on ..
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
I understand.
Formal testing would be indicated.
It can be powerful to do this in the context of family therapy
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I'm no longer with him, but he wants to come back, then he doesn't...
I care for him so needed some answers, although I know he should seek professional help..
He says there is nothing they can tell him that he doesn't already know.
Which is a shame because he will never understand himself.
Thanks
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
I would see the therapist yourself, start with therapy, then invite him, or invite him from the beginning and go, and he can be re invited.

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