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Ask Dr. Chip Your Own Question
Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 31242
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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I have just been dumped by girlfriend she had recently set

Customer Question

I have just been dumped by girlfriend she had recently set her status on Facebook as in relationship with me,all was going really well and we were happy
A bitter ex of mine seems to have been a friend of a friend of hers and sent a nasty message to my girlfriend calling me everything
She pulled plug on relationship based on that
I sent one text telling her full story of this crazy girl and left it at that,
the ex I finished with told me she loved me within few dates which I didn't truly feel so ended it-I've done no wrong
My current girlfriend and I got very close very quick and we told each other it felt like the real thing -something seems to have scared her
Anything I can do? Thanks
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Hi. Can you clarify something for me because I'm not clear here? Why exactly is your girlfriend scared?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Im not sure it's like she thinks I'm a game player which I'm not
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK Simon. What exactly did she say when she dumped you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She said I've heard how you are at the start of a relationship and where it leads so it's over get used to it
She's taken a bitter ex word over mine
It's hurtful and I don't know how toneesolve
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I understand but stay with me here. So she thinks, in essence, that you and your ex are back together? And why did you have the few dates with your ex?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No she's taken word of my ex from well over a year ago that I play games with people in the beginning of relationships to get what I want which isn't true
I truly love current girlfriend and have told her that.
I've had nothing to do with this ex ever since I finished with her,I told her at time I wasn't ready for relationship
That girl told me after a week she loved me...I may have said it back out of awkwardness but that's no crime
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So the two of you told each other your loved one one another after just a week of seeing each other?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
The ex last year told me she loved me and out of embarrassment i said to her in moment of lustFast forward to this current girl I told her that I loved her-as I really felt it and I believe she did backIt's all very silly I can see now but I meant it this time and we were close.....
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So your ex basically told your girlfriend that you had told her you loved her but really didn't mean it?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't know for sure but it would seem it was along that linesWhy is she listening to an ex?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK Simon--so how long have you and your present girlfriend known each other?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
not very long I'm afraid couple weeks and as i type it feels rather silly but we just hit it off-she even said it felt like I was the one for her.....
Is she just hurt that I dared to have relationships in past? It feels very harsh
I have loved others
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Yes that does seem harsh Simon. Has she had relationships in the past?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes she was married until 2 years ago she was married for 20 years
In fact she mentioned that since being single she had several flings
it seems like she was upset I could have been close to others in past
If she had only given me chance!?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK Simon and we can continue after this if you'd like. It would seem that she has a problem here--since most of us have had relationships in the past before we meed someone new, it doesn't make any sense for that someone to be jealous of our previous relationships that are now over and done with. She definitely is overreacting to the fact that you had an ex in the past and also the fact that she's listening to that ex now makes me think she has an emotional/mental problem. For now I suggest you just wait things out and see if she contacts you again with the idea of the two of you getting back together. She may do that, but if she doesn't I think you should just move on and find someone else.
Dr. Chip and 2 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
it's just hurtful and I feel terrible as we talked alot about future and how happy we were
We hit it off immediately....I guess I'm just disappointed
I think she's been treated by men badly in past and now she fears I'll do the same....
It's a cowardly way to act and the only looser is her as I genuinely believe I'd have been with her longterm
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well, I wouldn't call it cowardly but it does sound as though she needs some therapy to help her deal with and get over her past relationships
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I just wanted the chance to put my side over but to just cut me off has hurt....I think I may need help as been feeling very low
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
It would be a good idea for you to see a clinical psychologist then for some sessions--it sounds like you need some grief counseling