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Dr. David
Dr. David, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 43433
Experience:  Board Certified Physician
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I've just started taking benzodiazepines again - this time

Customer Question

I've just started taking benzodiazepines again - this time I acquired them online without a script. I suffer from chronic anxiety which was exacerbated by the deaths of my brother and father a few years ago and the ensuing loss of my then career. I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps, but now have a good job with prospects and a nice place to live. My question would be: what is the harm in the course of action I have chosen to take? I haven't taken anxiolytics, prescribed or otherwise in a couple of years, but I am so sick of the almost constant stomach churning and waking up with a gasp and overpowering sense of dread several times a night. It's only been 24 hours since I took 1 10mg diazepam, but I feel human again! As well as just "functioning" along, my once accustomed energy levels have materialised, as has optimism. I'm not idiot enough to think that I can include these drugs in a daily regime, given their addictive properties, or always expect them to have a brilliant effect but as a pick-me-up here and there, are they really so dangerous? I want the old me back.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
Dr. David :

This is Dr. David

Dr. David :

benzos like diazepam can be part of a complete treatment program for patients who have excessive anxiety disorder.

Dr. David :

you do need to see a doctor and get a prescription for an SSRI agent (like lexapro or zoloft or prozac or paxil) or an SNRI agent like effexor to help decrease your anxiety as well.

Dr. David :

this will allow you to use less diazepam, but you can still continue to use diazepam along with these medications

Dr. David :

you also need your GP doctor to refer you to see a psychotherapist for weekly or monthly counseling sessions to learn biofeedback therapy or congitive behavioral therapy to help decrease your anxiety

Dr. David :

you should not be just treating yourself.

Dr. David :

you need your GP doctor to know about your medication and your anxiety symptoms.

Dr. David :

do you have a GP doctor you can see to talk about a more complete treatment regimen for your anxiety disorder?

JACUSTOMER-2gn0oblc- : Well, yes - I have been down that route! However, the responses I got at the time were pretty much "You are functioning well, so are not a priority for us. Drugs are bad!"
JACUSTOMER-2gn0oblc- : However, I have recently moved so could try again with my new surgery. But why would I, when I can perhaps manage this myself?
JACUSTOMER-2gn0oblc- : Thanks for your help, Dr David - I shall bear in mind what you said. I have to go to bed though, now :)
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

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If you haven’t already done so, please rate your answer above. Or, you can reply to me using the box below.
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
Dr. David :

This is Dr. David

Dr. David :

benzos like diazepam can be part of a complete treatment program for patients who have excessive anxiety disorder.

Dr. David :

you do need to see a doctor and get a prescription for an SSRI agent (like lexapro or zoloft or prozac or paxil) or an SNRI agent like effexor to help decrease your anxiety as well.

Dr. David :

this will allow you to use less diazepam, but you can still continue to use diazepam along with these medications

Dr. David :

you also need your GP doctor to refer you to see a psychotherapist for weekly or monthly counseling sessions to learn biofeedback therapy or congitive behavioral therapy to help decrease your anxiety

Dr. David :

you should not be just treating yourself.

Dr. David :

you need your GP doctor to know about your medication and your anxiety symptoms.

Dr. David :

do you have a GP doctor you can see to talk about a more complete treatment regimen for your anxiety disorder?

Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
let me know if you have other questions.

if done for now, please leave positive rating below the chat box so I can get credit for helping you today

you can always reach me with "a question for Dr. David" if you have any other questions

here is my website if you need to reach me again:

http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-dr-david/

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Dr. David, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 43433
Experience: Board Certified Physician
Dr. David and other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
you need to refresh your screen.

I think you are stuck in chat mode.

and the question has moved into question and answer mode.

if your GP gives you that response, you need to see another GP doctor

or ask to see a psychiatrist to help assess your anxiety symptoms

you should not have to buy illegal valium over the internet to treat your own anxiety disorder

your doctors should be willing to give you prescriptions for valium and for SSRI agents to help your anxiety
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
you need to see a GP doctor to get a more comprehensative treatment for anxiety more than just Valium.

you should see a new GP doctor in the new area you have moved to.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi again Dr David. - I'm no longer sure that I am in control of this situation. A couple of things have come up regarding my family, which are fairly heavy duty (aunt with ongoing breast cancer, uncle with heart trouble) over the last few days which have seen me reach for the blue pills. This is not what I envisaged.
At the age of 40 am I just reacting like a spoiled child? Surely every middle-aged person has these life issues?
I wouldn't mind so much, but I spent the first 30 years of my life mitigating a violent abusive father - I returned home after my Maths degree to defend my younger brothers until I was no longer needed (the crunch point came when my next brother was big enough to smack my father up against the wall and tell him that the next time he beat my younger brothers would be his last). Then I embarked upon my PhD, only right at the most crucial moments my second youngest brother committed suicide and then my newly sober father dropped dead from a heart attack, leaving my mother in all kinds of debt.
But now...eventually...
I am a fairly happy mathematician cum data modeller, although as I think I made clear, it took me a while to get back on track.
As far as ticking functionality boxes is concerned I'm somewhere up there is the very high percentiles, which seems to leave me pretty much up to my own devices where past trauma and associated mitigation is concerned.
So, please tell me again why it is so bad that I have chosen to self-medicate?
My father was an orthopaedic surgeon, so while having a little more medical knowledge than average, I'm not sure that this is helping me at the moment!
Thanks again for your help, Dr David!
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
suffering from excessive anixety is not a fault of yours

it is not anything wrong you did

we don't know why some people suffer from excessive anxiety and others don't

you can explore some of your childhood reasons by speaking to a therapist about your childhood.

that could help you

have you spoken to a therapist before?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes, yes, yes and yes. Because of my father's position, nobody wants to be involved.
Members of my family will no longer speak with my mother, even though for the last few years of her "marriage" we're a sham, because she asked for a separation.
I think that a "father" who would make me eat my own sick, and then beat me for being "too slow" is reason enough for my mother to have left way back in the early 80s, but he told her that if she went he would see to it that she would never see her children again.
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
that is horrible.

I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that

it does sound like you would benefit from seeing a therapist.

that is good that you are open to seeing a psychotherapist to talk about these issues.

I really think that will help your anxiety and help you sort through your feelings on all of it.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you know, what really hurt me and wanted to make me kill my father was listening to him abusing my brothers. I still don't get how my mother knew this was going on and did nothing. From my point of view, I will never have a family of my own, because just the thought of being trapped in that situation again is not worth it. I think I will be living alone for the rest of my life 😎.
He died in 2007, and I do miss having that person who will pulverise anyone who stands in my way (intellectually in such a way that there is no come-back - I'm a chip off the old block in that respect, or at least working on it (try having expertise in maths, physics, geology, meteorology, radar, remote sensing, tomography, other image analysis, research and now economic sensitivity)(oh yes, I play recorder to concert level, and several other instruments competently).
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you know, what really hurt me and wanted to make me kill my father was listening to him abusing my brothers. I still don't get how my mother knew this was going on and did nothing. From my point of view, I will never have a family of my own, because just the thought of being trapped in that situation again is not worth it. I think I will be living alone for the rest of my life 😎. He died in 2007, and I do miss having that person who will pulverise anyone who stands in my way (intellectually in such a way that there is no come-back - I'm a chip off the old block in that respect, or at least working on it (try having expertise in maths, physics, geology, meteorology, radar, remote sensing, tomography, other image analysis, research and now economic sensitivity)(oh yes, I play recorder to concert level, and several other instruments competently).Sorry - I still think it's OK that I carefully use Valium - family shock crises notwithstanding 😊
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
yes it is ok that you use valium.

that is fine to use to help you decrease your anxiety symptoms.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My big question now is whether I speak to my relatives on my father's side of the family, along with his work colleagues. They are all shunning my mother as they had no idea what was going on behind closed doors, and they, after the poison that my father sowed, think she was some kind of gold-digger...a very stupid kind of gold-digger she must have been, as she stuck by my father for 40 years while he brought home an NHS basic salary and refused to top up with private work. My father took himself off after my Mum threw him out and went round saying "I don't know what I did wrong" to a lot of people who took his side. They weren't there when he was beating me because my brother Rob had broken some toy and as the eldest it was all my fault.
Expert:  Dr. David replied 2 years ago.
I would speak to a therapist to discuss these issues before speaking to relatives on your fathers side of the family.

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