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Hi, I am here.
I'm Dr. Phil
Can I ask your first name?
Yes, It isElisabeth.
nice to meet you
I'm reading your post
Nice to meet you. I tried to be short with the story, although as always it would be very long if I went into more details.
I think you need to have him out of your life and be honest with him
It is almost like a symbolic moving on
Why do you think he is trying to keep in touch with me?
Many guys are like that
they like to keep women on the side as a backup
in case things fall apart
in their current relationship
it makes him feel good knowing that he has several women he can contact at any time
I don't know if he is in a relationship. I just guessed.
you are probably correct
So you think there is nothing to do that he might still have feelings for me.
I think he might but it doesn't matter. It won't work out
foundation of any relationship is trust
there is no trust between you two
Because of trust. Yes, when I told him I can not trust him he was really shocked, and he was crying for making those mistakes. But that when he realised it would never work. And me as well.
Yes, see I am correct.
it will never work
there is no trust
So do you think it will be easier to forget him if I stop talking to him? I am so afraid to talk to him, and I don't really know why. He has been all alone for more than a year after I left him, I mean, no friends, no people around him because of his work schedule. I felt sorry for him. He was the only person I really loved, and I am afraid it won't happen again. Is everybody like that?
Yes, everybody is like that Elisabeth.
you will find someone else.
you have to be honest and tell him that you are moving on.
keep in mind that he will try to get you back when you leave but you have to be strong
The reason why I was afraid to stop talking to him, because I had another relationship before him, and we stopped talking straight after break up, and I felt it was even worse.
Should I tell him how I felt after we spent again a few weeks together? It was mainly he who started to be very affectionate.. he wanted to go for a holiday with me for a week, but I said no.
yes you should be 100% honest
let everything out
but you have to be sure to move on
and tell him that you want to move on
Now, every time we talk and he tells me how happy he is, I feel really sad. Like now, we talked yesterday as well, he is sending me pictures.
So that would be the best for me.
You simply have to be honest and tell him how much that hurts you
and yes that would be the best
God, it is very difficult.
yes it is but you need to move on
the longer you stay talking to him the more it will hold you back
there is another guy out there for you waiting
that you will never find while you are talking to him
I understand. I hope the feelings will go away at some point. So you say it is better to tell him how I feel, instead of just simply disappear?
yes I do
that way both you and he has closure
Trust never comes back I guess then..
not trust that involves cheating
Not just cheating.. he kept telling me is obsessed with women.. in the first time. After he realised he loved me, he was really nice and caring. I know I have to let him go from my life. I will take your advise and will write down everything for him. Problem is we only talk on chat now, maybe and email would be better?
email would be fine
Does it mean I should never to talk to him in my life again? I can't even believe that he was planning to visit me in the summer in my hometown. I feel like it is difficult for him to let me go as well. Or I just want to believe, so it doesn't hurt as much.
I would put him out of your life.
He is the typical man that is obsessed with women. I hate to tell you this but you are probably not the only girl that he does this with
he probably has several
You mean to keep in touch? He is strange guy. He does like women, he is spanish, so he can't help it either. But at the same time he was completely lost in life, no self-confidence, no trusting in people. He thinks about himself that he is a bad person. He didn't want to believe for 2 months that I really liked him. He completely judges man who cheats on their wife, and he would like to have true love in his life.. but at the same time is is afraid he won't be able to be loyal He told me that.. I was really angry of myself for so long that I stayed in this relationship, despite all of that. But I do get your point. I also feel like it would be better for me to get him out of my life, I am just simply scared of it.
you know what you have to do Elisabeth
Yes. Move on.
Thank you for your help.
Did I do good work for you?
Yes, I am just really sad.
I know. I'm sorry. :(
Because I never loved anybody like him before. For me letting him go is as difficult when my Grandmother died.
I'm sorry Elisabeth.
I gave him everything I had, I tried to help him, but it is just so painful to listen to him how happy he is. I hope that doesn't mean I am a selfish person. But I want to be happy again.
You are not selfish
you just need to move on. you did nothing wrong
would you mind providing me a positive rating for my time with you? I greatly appreciate it
Thank you. I appreciate it