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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 31665
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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I cannot manage a situation that happened last year. I found

Customer Question

I cannot manage a situation that happened last year. I found my wife in bed with a good friend, whom I now know to be impotent. She says it was an act of comfort. I believe there was no intercourse, but the sight of her in bed with him, in our house, is killing me. We have managed to stay together since August 2014, but the pain still remains. I cry nearly every night, but my wife thinks I am abusing her by still talking about it. How can I/we recover our marriage, please?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Hi. Sorry to hear about this. Is hypnotherapy the only thing you've tried so far?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No I went to a Counsellor, who frightened me

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Can I ask how that frightened you Andrew? And has your wife considered getting counseling?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The sight of one's wife naked in your own bed with another man is totally frightening. My wife believes that it was a huge mistake and I should be over it because she was only helping him. There is no answer to this that I can mange. I am suicidal even after 9 months. I want help. I do not want to pay more money.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.

You don't pay any more just because we discuss this Andrew

So are you saying that talking about this with the couselor was what was frightening?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

She suggested that this was a result of my wife's depression which had gone on for 7 years, and that I resented the fact that we had moved again. This is so complicated that E-Mail is an awful way of trying to resolve the worst moment of my life.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK--but stick with me because I can help Andrew, even if it's hard for you to discuss it this way. So did you only meet with the couselor one time? And what's being done about your wife's depression?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I met with the counciller twice. My wife has overcome her depression by mindfulness. I am however at the end of my rational ability to cope with what I saw and heard

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Are you still there

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Please talk to me

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK--I understand. Just one more question Andrew--did you decide only to see the counselor the two times? And, if so, why?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Other.
I do not know whether or not my asnwers are getting throgh
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Andrew instead of relisting just respond to me. If you didn't answer my last question can you do that now please?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I am lost. Where is this conversation going? I need help

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

\\\\\\\\Please help me.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK--and we can continue after this if you need Andrew. You need ongoing couseling for this and it would also be a very good idea for your wife to participate in the process. You're suffering from grief and embarrassment and a kind of post traumatic stress disorder and you need both interactive therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. You might also benefit from anti-depressand medications but not without ongoing therapy. You can get over and beyond this but it will take work on your part with the right therapist.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you. Just want to be free. Who deals with ptsd

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.

You need a clinical psychologist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy Andrew.

Let me know how it goes and please remember to rate my service to you

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Let me know if you need any more information Andrew

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