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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 33724
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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I have a lovely mother who is now 84 years old and lives with

Customer Question

I have a lovely mother who is now 84 years old and lives with me. Over the years she has not been very physically ill, sadley the medical profession has let her down, it took them 18 months to dyagnose a fractured hip, eventually she had a successful replacement. She got a condition called polymyelgia rhumatica which was missed by her then GP 3 times and she ended up on a christmas eve in so much pain I had to call a doctor to came and dyagnosed the treatment at 4am he dyagnosed the problem in minutes, she was put on steroids her weight increase by 4 stone, in the end I had to take her to weight watchers myself as the steroids were not being monitored or her weight and infact it was only when I read a report from an ambulance that I realised she had diabetes and finally staterd to get proper treatment. She recently hurt her back it has taken one wrong dyagnoses and a correct one to dyagnose a slip disc, which we are still waiting treatment for, my mum in agony with the pain can't do anything for herself, I am working fulltime and have no family support. I feel completely drainined with nobody to talk to and no help. Can you advise me how to cope with this catalogue of medical bludders as these people have no empathy whatsoever, they seem to think I will pick up all the pieces of their poor clinical ability? It does not help that I myself use to work in the NHS,
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Hi. Sorry to hear about all this but how exactly can I help you here?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I feel very angery and upset by the way my mum has been treated, how do I get rid of these unhealthy feeling?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK Tina--first off, have you spoken to anyone about your feelings?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No because if they can't get a basic hip diagnoses or diabetes diagnoses what hope is their for me, anyway if they had got it right in the first place I would not be suffering now, i guess you could say i don't trust these people anymore.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No, Tina--I meant talking to either family or friends or both?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have no close family and I don't really talk about this to friends because, they too have had poor NHS care for their friends and family! Most of them work in the NHS or have their own issues which I would not be able to support if I starting going on able my problems. I am looking for a practical sulution to remove the illwill I feel to people who don't care

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.

OK--stick with me here.

Have you had any problems in the past with resentments?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No, I don't have a resentfull nature or even a revengefull one that is the problem I actually care to much and it really hurts me to see needless suffering and lack of empathy, what does it take to say sorry?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Personal question here Tina--are you religious?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No! I just beleave do bo harm.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.

OK Tina. First off, it would help greatly for you to talk to an understanding friend about all your feelings. Not necessarily to have them discuss the matter with you--although that can be helpful too--but just as a way of taking off the lid and letting the steam out. And it may take several talks to work.

Secondly, here's a link that should be very helpful and it invovles some careful homework

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-to-let-go-of-a-resentment.html

The last suggestiong--although I don't think it's likely you'll really consider it--is to talk to a counselor adept in cognitive behavoral therapy like a PhD clinical psychologist.

If you need to talk more about this, I'll be more than happy to continue so just let me know

Dr. Chip and other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Oh my goodness, I know what the problem is, my ex nhs boss prevented access of care to patients and everytime a health professional does it not necessarily deliberately but due to lack of experience or facilities I relive the trurma of what my ex nhs boss did I am suffering from PTSD? Does that sound right to you?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well, I wouldn't go so far as to diagnose you with PTSD but cognitive behavioral therap also works well with that. The suggestions I gave might seem simplistic but please give them a try before you dismiss them as to simple
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No I will not dismiss what you are saying, CBT is OK but I think the letting go and the website you emailed me will be a lot cheaper, no G.P. would have a budget to send me for CBT treatment without a long assessment, I think the nhs had done enough damage to my mental health. Thanks for the chat you have been brilliant!

lets keep the budget for those poor souls that really need it.

take care

all the best

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.

My pleasure Tina and keep in touch.

Please remember to rate my service to you

One last thought--old saying--the problem with a resentment is the person one resents doesn't loose any sleep over it