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Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 56240
Experience:  GP in the United States
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What does it mean when a young 35 year old potential daughter

Customer Question

What does it mean when a young 35 year old potential daughter in law wants to discuss sexual matters with a man twice her age when they are alone
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
can you describe the situation more fully?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I overheard my potential daughte in law talking to my husband about a programme on television about a man's scrotem saying they should collect all the perm together and put it in a sperm bank. My husband did not make comment to this conversation but I feel it is appropriate and want to know what you think.

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
do they know each other well?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My son and his partner live in America and we meet up twice a year for two weeks.

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
I would say it is inappropriate then. yes you are correct
Dr. Phil, MD and other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Should I feel concerns about her relationship with my husband

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Should I feel concerned about the motives she has of saying such things

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
Are you confident with your relationship with your husband?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes I am

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
Then I think you should be honest. express your love for your son and let her know how uncomfortable that makes you feel
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have already expressed this in saying well Jonathan as much as I love you am going to have to let you go but don't worry you won't be cut out of the will. His reply to this was "what are you talking like that for mum".

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
I think that is unfair. You can't put your son to a decision between you and his wife.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

She is not his wife but his partner of eight years.

Can you give me any more advice on how best to proceed.

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
I think you have to make your feelings clear to everyone including your son and move on. You have to have a relationship with your son Don't throw that away
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for that very sound advice. Much appreciated.

I do know that my son would not break the relationship with me but I find myself distraught at the way his partner is power mad for control.

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
you cannot control her or her behavior.You can control your reaction to it.And you MUST not lose contact with your son
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you.

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
welcome
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Your advice is excellent and I most certainly will not lose contact with my son - I am sure he will not let me do that as he rings me on a very regular basis. I have a good relationship with both my sons and they both know I wish to help when needed and know how important it is for them to live their lives with their partners without interference from me - they will both confirm this is the case. Their happiness has been paramont to me and both tell us they had a wonderful childhood.

However, I feel I have given my son's partner in America the last chance I can and I do not feel I can take my relationship with her any further - her controlling issue is unbelieveably serious and I feel a great need to keep out of her way which makes it very difficult for me to have them stay with us now or for us to visit them over in America. Can you throw any light on howI will deal with this?

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
I think the more you reject her the more it will give her power over him. You have to accept her but constantly be vigilant and let her know if her comments are out of boundaries
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you - I will consider this.

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
welcome
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for your sound advice - I really do appreciate it - I am normally a very confident person who has handled a number of stressful situations successfully but this one was just getting too much for me to be able to see a way through it.

Many thanks again - sould I need advice in the future then I will surely ask for you.

Best wishes to you for the future.

Regards

Ann

Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
Welcome
Expert:  Dr. Phil, MD replied 2 years ago.
I appreciate the excellent rating.

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