Hi Sorry to hear about this.
What exactly was the emotional affair?
And how did you deal with it when you learned about it?
She was in telephone contact with a man she got to know via twitter. He commented on her artwork and then they were on the phones hours a day for about three weeks.
I found a sexual remake to my wife about being between her legs on twitter and asked my wife calmly what was going on. She was evasive and then went to bed. I could not sleep and got up in the early hours to go to work as my head was spinning. Then she collapsed into a state and ended up in crisis care with major depression overnight.
Yes sent home with loraepam and fluorine.
This was six weeks ago though. I have done everything for her since, found houses for her to live in for separation, paid for 8 days away in hotels as a break fir her as she felt suffocated at home. All she did was tweet on twitter about how unhappy she was and calling out to her emotional affair friend to contact her. (That coward has gone now ) she came back angry and so dispassionate towards me. Shouted divorce involved the kids (18 and 22) told me all the things I had done wrong, said divorce for unreasonable behaviour (period 1991 to 2002) !! And suddenly gone to refuge for three months now!! I am not abusive, never violent but very tired most of the time yes!
Her behaviour did seem strange and the household chores were not being done by her
Sorry for all the questions John.
Did you talk with the psychiatrist and is your primary question how she suddenly became this way?
My primary question is why she is accusing me of abuse. I never tell her what to wear, or that she can't go out, she has had access to our money, she goes out with friends when she wants, I think I have been very tired for a long time and get in late at night maybe I have not paid enough attention to her I don't know but she makes me feel like an abuser now. She has been telling our children for 10 years about her unhappiness behind my back. They called it mums Pandora box she never told me directly or marriage was in trouble, then emotional affair and then this. I know I can be insensitive, probably have not appreciated all her opinions but I am really shattered so tired. I have helped her in so many ways though. Why this?
First off you need to let go of the false shame and guilt you've put on yourself--it's undeserved and unjustified.
It may well be that she had a psychotic break here and that it was festering just below the surface for months or longer. When that happens, the patient becomes irrational and paranoid.
I suggest you discuss this with the psychiatrist she saw
Let me know if we need to continue this discussion please
What is a physchotic break. She is so resentful towards me, it's heartbreaking. Says I am controlling and manipulative. I do nice things for get, helped her choose her new cat, driven for hours round the country to collect things for her. Now she is away at a refuge that helps abused women start a new life. I am left at home with our children 17 and 22. One has asd, and social anxiety disorder and needs support. Why would a mother disengage and not love her husband so quickly, leave her child with an 'abuser' it makes no sense. Will she even get any counselling to deal with her trauma of rape and violence in previous marriage. I feel lost and miss the wife I had before.
A psychosis is a mental disorder where the patient is out of touch with reality.
When the break occurs, the person is no longer rational, so you're asking the question why is simply the wrong question
You really should discuss this with the psychiatrist that had been seeing her