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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 32218
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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My daughter says sorry too much but yesterday got into a complete

Resolved Question:

My daughter says sorry too much but yesterday got into a complete spiral where she couldn't stop saying sorry and ended up crying. Any ideas?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Hi--is your daughter the 20 year old above? Can you tell me more about what's been going on with her?
Dr. Chip and 2 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes my daughter is the 20 year old referred to above. She is a bright university undergraduate without any obvious other difficulties.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She has been for a while been prone to saying sorry too much but no other obvious issues.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I can't possible pay another £36 - I haven't had any service at all yet - and hesitated quite a bit before paying £24 - I hope I'm going to get some sort of help for that amount.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Don't worry about the offer more offer--that was just automatic and you don't have to accept it
But I do need to know all you can tell me about what's been going on with her
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
OK thanks. She has just started back at Uni (third year). In a new flat with two girls. Likes it. Has a boyfriend which all seems to be going well. She had a difficult time with a boyfriend last year because when she split up with him he threatened and attempted suicide. He is out of her life now so she doesn't have to be anxious about that and it's not really clear why she should be anxious about anything specific. She just had a good month of work experience in a theatre. She is good at her Chemistry and enjoys it. She is not keen to seek professional help but was rather scared by being so badly affected yesterday. Hard to help her at a distance. I feel she needs some coping strategies for when she starts to say sorry and gets in a rut!
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
What is she saying she's sorry about?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It could be anything at all, from "move up, you haven't left me enough space" or "you interrupted me" or "you were late back" or (especially) "you don't need to apologise" - never anything major and generally she is keen to please so really she usually doesn't have anything to apologise about but even the slightest remonstration will immediately prompt a "I'm sorry".
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK. I understand the saying I'm sorry for what you may think is a trivial thing but besides that is there something else about her behavior or emotional state that worries you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She usually appears very confident and while I know that she often feels a lot less confident than she appears, and that she has sometimes been somewhat fragile and prone to depression while she was a teenager (especially while rowing), I haven't ever felt unduly worried about her behaviour or emotional state. I think it's because she herself was so worried about what had happened to her yesterday evening (she called and shared it with me today) that I'm worried.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
What happened yesterday evening?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't know exactly - I'll try to find out more.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK but in the meantime how exactly can I help you with this?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I was hoping to get some ideas for her about what might be causing this problem and what kind of strategies or help might help reduce it.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well I can help but so far you really haven't given me enough information to define the problem
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok - I don't really have any more I can tell you I'm afraid. I'll get back to you if I can get some more information from her.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No problem--I'll be here
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Do you have more information for me?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm afraid not. She was unable to identify what triggered the episode and I won't be seeing her for a couple of weeks now so I think I will have to close this dialogue and then start afresh if and when it seems likely to be constructive. Thanks for your help.