I have obsessive thoughts that take up the majority of my day, I also have rituals which I have to complete in the correct way or I have to start all over again, such as washing bedding (which I have done 4 times this past week), cleaning the house, showering (sometimes 3 to 4 times in a row to get it right), obsessively using handgel when at work. This barely scratches the surface though. I have have had enough and it's getting worse and I really need some help. I am not taking any medications at the moment.
I have made several appointments when I have had the courage to, but I always have to wait at least a week to be seen but by then I lose the courage to go and I cancel, I really don't know what to do
It's not fear, it's just getting the courage to actually talk about my condition with someone, waiting a week each time makes me bottle out
because I hate talking to people about personal things ever and you don't know me
Partly, I understand what I do and why I do it and I know how weird it sounds to do the things I do, I also have never really spoken to anyone about my problems and why I have them, there's a lot of stuff I never tell people and I don;t know where to start
I know that there are, I have never met anyone else though, I am finding it increasingly difficult to communicate with other people about anything let alone my weird problems, my parents say it's all in my mind so I can just change it, but they don't really know the extent of it, and I can't stop doing the things that I do
I just don't know how to go about getting help if I keep bottling it all the time, what can I do?