Can I please ask, to what degree to you think "fear of intimacy" is a real thing...as in something that could significantly affect a person's actions?
I have just been involved in a very difficult relationship, with a man who pursued me for over a year and then as soon as we begun to get close he introduced every possible means he could to block anything from ever really happenning.
For perhaps 4 weeks we enjoyed the most wonderful relationship, which was everything he had wanted for so long, but instead of being happy he soon begun to be destructive.
Simply by going quiet and absent from my life for days and then coming back as if nothing happenned.
Being evasive about simple things, like exchanging what we had done that day.
Bringing negativity into things ("you live so far away").
And most hurtfully...seemingly flirting with others.
When I left the relationship, he was miserable and fought over many months to get me to come back, going as far as to travel the two hours to tell me face to face he missed me, writing letters about how he felt and working very hard at getting closer and reestablishing a bond and trust -only to be found logging onto a dating website within a day or two :(
I'd stress this man is not a player as far as know (he has only had one girlfriend before) and he admits to intimacy issues which he says are down to two alcoholic parents and abandonment from the only girlfriend he has ever had.
Would something like this cause such destructive behavior?
Chasing after something and seeming to want it so much only to destroy it?
Or if he just a very selfish and manipulative person who has seen this as a fun game?