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Dr Basu
Dr Basu, Experienced Specialist
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 29099
Experience:  MD
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I have been married years and been faithful throughout

Resolved Question:

Hi,
I have been married for 24 years and been faithful throughout this time. Over the last couple of years, my wife who is slightly older started to lose interest in penetrative sex and it is now almost non-existent however she does regularly give me oral sex. I have craved penetrative sex and two days ago had a one night stand with a colleague from work, we also had oral sex. The following day she told that she was suffered from genital herpes but she was not symptomatic during our encounter, her last outbreak had been 5 months previous. However this was like a bomb shell for me. I don’t understand the risk and I am now petrified that I may have caught it and how do I behave with my wife. I can’t tell her as that would be the end of a great marriage but yet she knows from my behaviour that I never refuse her advances when she wants to give me oral sex, but I don’t want to do this until I am confident that she would be safe.
Please could you give me some advice and sense of perspective on the situation I am in.
My fear is also compounded because my wife is virology clinician.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr Basu replied 1 year ago.
Hi there,This is Dr Basu, experienced Internal Medicine Specialist.I am here to address your concerns and provide great service.Did you use any condom during penetrative sex?I understand your concerns.Since her last outbreak is 5 months ago, the risk of herpes transmission is very low about 1-2% per encounter.Oral sex is even lower risk compared to penetrative sex.Use of condom even further lowers the risk.Hence, you are likely safe given the very small risk involved.You can behave normally with your wife without any concern.Best wishes,It was my pleasure to help you today.If I have answered all your questions, Please rate my response Excellent (click on the 5th star).Please bookmark my profile for fast, reliable and authentic answers!This is the link to my profile:http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-mysticdoc/
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 1 year ago.
HelloYour risk is NOT zero.You could have contrated herpesShe does not have to have an outbreak to transmit it.Get a serum HSV test in 6 weeks, or at weeks 3 and 6.This will show if you were exposed.Even without an outbreak, you can transmit it as well.It is not medical standard to say have unprotected sex of any sort with your wife at this point.I am a US doctor.Find me any time for accurate answers.Please click a positive.
Expert:  Dr Basu replied 1 year ago.
Hi there,This is Dr Basu, experienced Internal Medicine Specialist.I am here to address your concerns and provide great service.Serum HSV testing is not recommended to determine any active infection.Although not zero, the risk is very low not considered enough to recommend any abstinence from oral sex.Best wishes,It was my pleasure to help you today.If I have answered all your questions, Please rate my response Excellent (click on the 5th star).Please bookmark my profile for fast, reliable and authentic answers!This is the link to my profile:http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-mysticdoc/
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your response.
Dr Basu yes I foolishly had unprotected sex and my sexual interactions with my wife are now entirely oral.
Expert:  Dr Basu replied 1 year ago.
Ok --still I will not worry about it.The risk is considered very low --practically impossible to cause any infection from one such encounter.Best wishes,It was my pleasure to help you today.If I have answered all your questions, Please rate my response Excellent (click on the 5th star).Please bookmark my profile for fast, reliable and authentic answers!This is the link to my profile:http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-mysticdoc/
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 1 year ago.
HelloAsk your doctorYou can transmit this to your wife orally.The risk is not zero,and the serum test is indeed used to show if you have been exposed.You don't need to have apparent infection.Check this out with yoru doc.
Expert:  Dr Basu replied 1 year ago.
There is no scientific study saying one unprotected intercourse will cause herpes right away without any recent outbreak.Hence I will not worry about it.Best wishes,It was my pleasure to help you today.If I have answered all your questions, Please rate my response Excellent (click on the 5th star).Please bookmark my profile for fast, reliable and authentic answers!This is the link to my profile:http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-mysticdoc/
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you both for your replies. I take home from this that there is risk but it is very small from a one off encounter and the risk is even smaller with oral sex. The woman in question did tell me that she had never passed it on to anyone else and that she in new her condition and symptoms. Of course my only concern here is for my wife
Expert:  Dr Basu replied 1 year ago.
The risk is so small, you do not likely have any virus to transmit to your wife.So do not worry.You are safe.Best wishes,It was my pleasure to help you today.If I have answered all your questions, Please rate my response Excellent (click on the 5th star).Please bookmark my profile for fast, reliable and authentic answers!This is the link to my profile:http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-mysticdoc/
Dr Basu, Experienced Specialist
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 29099
Experience: MD
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Expert:  DrRussMD replied 1 year ago.
HelloSee this articlehttp://healthland.time.com/2011/04/12/how-many-patients-spread-herpes-but-dont-even-know-they-have-it/You will see that the differences in persentages are 20 v. 10 approximately.And the 10% is in people who did not have outbreaks.We have known about this and studied it since the 1980s.How much less oral transmission is, is not known.Herpes transmits skin to skin.You might, if you have it, have a 5 to 10% risk in this sense.You CAN get the serum test now, see if it is negative. Wait 6 weeks. Repeat it.If it is not positive then, you are in the clear.You can not rate me here, as you have already done a rating.You can find me by request in medical anytime for correct, safe, up to date answers.For Dr. Thomas only.