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wieyedoc
wieyedoc, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 11310
Experience:  Over two decades of clinical practice. Completed a medical internship in New York City
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Family issues, who's at fault and what to do about the constant

Customer Question

Family issues, who's at fault and what to do about the constant problems I face? Mother with OCD and other issues. Long discussion required to understand.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  wieyedoc replied 1 year ago.
Hi. My name is***** and I am online and available to help you today. Thank you for your patience.Question and answer is just one of the services I offer. I can also provide you with premium services, such as live telephone or skype consultation, at a small additional cost. Let me know if you are interested.How can I help?This is not an answer, but an Information Request. I need this information to answer your question. Please reply, so I can answer your question. I look forward to helping you.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi there!
Well, where do I start!? My mother certainly has issues and I'd like to understand what's going on with this. But, her family (brother, sister, mother) also seem to have problems. I'm not sure where I stand right now. My aunt and her husband have always been good to me (my mom's sister). But my mother has fallen out with the entire family.

So, I'm going to start by listing these issues with my mom first, then we can talk about the wider family. Hoping you can give be great advice on how to deal with it all and the right approach. Who might be right and who wrong, too.

Her childhood - she claims she didn't get on with her mom as well as with her farther. The older sister was bossy according to my mom and she was also younger than the brother.
She had a private education I believe and then a job for a short while, hasn't worked ever since.

She developed alcohol addiction at early age but claims to haven’t given this up whilst pregnant with me and had some after for a while.
As a wife I she is very bossy and domineering. She gets my dad to side with her whatever, and I'd say if she doesn't get as she wants then she turns into a bully.

As a mother, I felt a lack of empathy, I felt she was unreasonable quite often and was overly strict. If I'd made a mess as a kid it would be a strongly punished. Threats were often made such as "You'll be sent to boarding school, etc". Locked in room by parents with string attached to not exit. Witnessed mother rage on occasions when young. Such as against my father whilst I was in the car attempting to swerve it to on-coming traffic making me upset. Smashing a gaming console my father brought me because she didn't like the size and my dad wouldn't instantly take it back. Raged at neighbours because the dogs kept coming on the frontage.

Can't give or take easily at all. Neighbor recently parked car by driveway (it was hidden by hedge). Small thing, nothing major, yet she got ultra angry in the end. Beliving they were doing it on purpose (they wernt), wanting revenge (typical of my mother). Etc. Rather than thinking that they don't have many other options of where to park (which they don't)..

She has fallen out with, or lost contact with the family. Has no friends what so ever. My dad also has no friends to speak of. I have one close friend because I've possibly got similar genes or learnt bad personality.
My mother easily finds fault in others.

Expert:  wieyedoc replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for that additional information.Sounds like you have had a very tough time of it.Dealing with your issues is not going to be easy and it is not going to happen quickly.So.. What should you do?I suggest you contact a team of Doctors who are experienced dealing with family/life issues like yours. These types of teams are usually made up of a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a social worker as well as other para-professionals.The good news? Now a days many insurance companies will cover this type of treatment.Does this make sense to you?It's safe for you to press the positive feedback button now if you so desire. And, never fear, even after you press that button I'll still be right here to continue helping you, but, as I do work for tips, I want to make sure you are happy before rating me. Dr. Rick MD FACSI wish you the very best
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

actually I'm trying to understand my mom's issue and what it is. I want to work out the issues here so can you help?

Thanks

Expert:  wieyedoc replied 1 year ago.
As you might imagine your concerns/the issues your mother has are very complex. You really need an in-person, in-depth session to even start to scratch the surface of what has been going on for so long.Does this make sense to you?I realize that this was not the answer you were hoping to hear but it would be unfair to you and unprofessional of me were I provide you with anything less than truthful and honest information.Surely, you prefer that I tell the truth rather than what you wish to hear. Because it reflects very poorly on me unless you press one of the top three feedback choices, keep this in mind when rating my answer and please do not punish me for being honest. I understand that this may not be easy to hear, and I empathize.Even though my answer was not quite what you were hoping for, please understand that my priority was to provide you with the most honest information. With that in consideration, I hope that you found my answer useful. Please click the excellent feedback button so that I can receive credit for my efforts. Dr. Rick MD FACS
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

Actually I was hoping to talk more in-depth about the issues as seeing a psychartist isn't possible in this scenario and I already understand this advice.

Expert:  wieyedoc replied 1 year ago.
Perhaps talking on the phone would be a good way to discuss this complex issue. Here is a link.I am in the USA on Central Daylight Savings Time.

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