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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 18671
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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I had a few missteps with a closed friend, my ex-boss a CEO

Customer Question

I had a few missteps with a closed friend, my ex-boss a CEO of a multinational company, he's very intelligent but an introvert. He has always been comfortable around me (extrovert), no idea why. This friend is like a dad to me and I am like a daughter to him through our professional relationship. Post work four years, he has been diagnosed with a prostate cancer due to stress, I missed his message (scrabble game) three months ago and finally when I got it he reached out to meet with me (clearly wanting to talk). I made a major misjudgement that I told his closed friends and lost his trust. I begged for a second chance and he said that he would call back. The same day, he sent a gruesome photo of a massive gash on his body, not telling me what happened. It killed me. I just pulled myself up from enormous guilt. Now another good friend just bursted out her marriage is in trouble? I definitely cant have prostate cancer due to stress, and I am not married with kid. What do my friends want? And what can I do to help? I am normally happy when left alone. Should I just walk away?
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 11 months ago.

Hello from JustAnswer.

Some of your questions are clearer than others, so let me first address the questions that are clear.

It would be impossible to know what your friends want until you ask them.

Some people simply want someone to listen and to whom they can ventilate their feelings. In that case, all that is needed is for you to listen with compassion.

Other people that are facing difficult decisions may be seeking your opinion on the pros and cons of each decision. Being able to discuss each option considered in the decision making process can help them get to a better level of understanding so that they can make a better decision. In this situation, you can help by being able to offer a new perspective on each option.

When someone has approached you and discusses a difficult situation, it is appropriate to first listen, and as the discussion progresses, you can ask them how you can help.

As for whether you should walk away, that is a personal decision, but it sounds like you care deeply about these friends and situations, and it is usually better for someone that cares this deeply to continue to try to assist to the extent possible, rather than walking away.

However, it is also true that the additional emotional strain from friends that are in difficult situations can also place a toll on you. And if you are feeling personally anxious or depressed because of this, it is important for you to also look to your own mental health. If you are feeling more anxious or depressed, it may help for you to seek care for these issues, either with counseling or medicines that can help ease these symptoms.

Is this the information that you are seeking? Or is there additional information that would be helpful?

Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 11 months ago.

I have not heard back, so I will interpret that to mean that this information was what you are seeking.