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Dr. Ravoof
Dr. Ravoof, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4797
Experience:  Experienced Physician in the field of Medicine and Surgery.
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A guy who is making me feel worthless

Customer Question

A guy who is making me feel worthless
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have been on a few dates with a guy and got on very well and enjoyed each others company. His texting isnt the best and gives short answers or leaves the conversation but is so chatty in person. I have noticed he isn't really responding to my whatsapp messages. Sunday I text him to see if there was a problem. He seen the text no reply, I asked could I ring him still no reply. Monday evening he finally text saying hello and why was I anxious about the texts. Again he had one worded answers. I asked him was he ok with me and replied yes why not. That was that no more communication. Earlier this morning I text him saying I was thinking about going to a shopping centre either this evening or tomorrow and would he like to join me. He read my message and still has not replied. Why is he ignoring me? I don't understand.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He is a good looking guy and he was the one who came to me and gave me his number. He was a complete gentleman when we first hung out and told me he wanted to take things slow I was up for that too but on our second meeting he kissed me and wanted to have sex. I gave in because I really like him and we did the same again when we last met. I did ask him did he want to met up and chat on sunday night but ignored me he knows I am going through anxiety now and he told me before he had an episode of anxiety a few years back and said he is here for me. Sunday I was in a complete panic and thats when I asked could I ring or meet up because I needed to talk and was so anxious. He completely ignored me. Do you think he could be a narcastic person? He told me before he doesn't judge people and doesnt care if people judge him. I did notice him talking a lot about himself but I didn't think anything of it. He very rarely asks about me and sees if I am alright. Maybe I am reading into things way to much.
Expert:  Dr. Ravoof replied 1 year ago.

Dear customer,

Thanks for your question.

Basically there can be 2 reasons for this, the first that he is doing this purposefully and second is that he does not like to text. Therefore it is possible that you are having a cognitive distortion or an inaccurate thought. Please call him up and be upfront and assertive when you tell him that you felt ignored because he had not replied to the messages. Ask him whether this was due to him not liking typing the replies, or some other reason such as being busy. However if he does not appear convincing then you have to decide on how to proceed further. You should give no one the power to make you feel worthless. Your worth should come from your inner self and should not be influenced by the events. This is known as self as context in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Please watch the below video to know more about self as context:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2YVtrpGbac

Take care.

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Thanks.