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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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my daughter received a phone call last night to say that my

Customer Question

my daughter received a phone call last night to say that my sixteen yr old grandson has been suspended from air cadets due to an allegation of a sexual nature on facebook where he is friends with a girl in an other town she has been getting bullied and her parent went on line to check and discovered that my grandson &her daughter have been using sexual innuendoes her parents quite rightly informed him that they were notify the police as the girl is only 13yrs of age My grandson does not deny this & my daughter has seen the messages and agrees that they are crude but she cant get any help from the squadron leader who wont give any information or incident number so they can contact the police to try and sort this out
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help with this situation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Please give me a few moments to look over this case and then I shall begin to reply.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your grandson was not accused of any overt sexual acts but of merely making sexual innuendos.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you watch television and are watching anything but news, sports, and documentaries, the you are constantly bombarded with sexual innuendos all day and night, from Days of Our Lives, to Oprah to Ellen, to any of the action adventures, to the Tonight show.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That is part of mainstream culture and that is what is being fed to the children day after day. Even Miley Cyrus is peddling more than innuendo and she had been a role model for little girls until her fall from decency.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Her hysterical parents called the police, but that does not mean that a crime was committed. The squadron leader over-reacted by suspending your grandson but that does not make him guilty or any different from any of his friends, who all share the same culture and understanding of sexual innuendo.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I did not like what was being shown on TV or learned in school, and so we had not TV at home, and my children were partly home schooled. They are all college graduates, and in successful long-term relationships. They do understand sexual innuendo, but they are adults.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your grandson should learn a serious lesson from this: that there are some things that, even though everyone knows about them, must not be mentioned in public, particularly with an underage child, although under the law in most places, he too is an underage child.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He must understand that when things he does or says can be used against him, he must practice discretion and avoid doing anything that is politically incorrect or can be used against him by others.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Our children have been forced to grow up quickly by the environment in which we are immersed.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I would contact the squadron leader that if he cannot show cause to his actions against your grandson then he will be held personally responsible for the actions that he has taken. It would be best for an attorney to contact him. He might very quickly back off rather than be embroiled in a legal batle.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

battle

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Both your grandson and the girl already had enough knowledge to be able to understand the subtleties of innuendo and so the sexual knowledge and sophistication already existed.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do not let the over-reaction of others cause your grandson to be humiliated or bullied more than he already has been. He is probably an excellent young man who has joined the air cadets rather than hang out on the street corners.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He needs your support and prayers. He certainly has mine. You are obviously a good and strong family. Do not allow others to try to demean him or you by association. Stand together and let this overblown incident fade away, with the help of your support and resistance.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

JACUSTOMER-mx3wxj3y- :

Thank you for your reply i agree that my granson is an excellent you man he is in the explorers &gives up his sunday morning to clean out stables for the the disabled riding school as well as helping to look after his younger disabled brother and has a heart of gold that is why we are so concerned for him if we just knew what is happening we could deal with it .

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What is happening is her parents, rather than taking responsibility for their daughters (normal) sexual sophistication, are looking for a victim. Then the police have to take reports, and then his squadron leader feels he has to do something.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is what you call a tempest in a tea pot.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Support him. You paint a picture of a wonderful, exceptional boy. Do not let this hurt him and support him 100%.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I hope that I have helped and look for your acknowledgement with positive feedback.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Thank you.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Rereading your last reply, even though you thanked me for my input, you still did not seem comletely satisfied, which is our goal at JustAnswer.

What is happening is a clash between the way your grandson's generation views the world, and particularly how they view sex, and how you and our generation view it. What seems shocking or distubring to us has become the new normal.

Hopefully, your grandson has learned to follow the rules of those who have power over him. Understand this in terms of rapidly changking values.

God bless,

Elliott

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