First, let me say I can imagine how distressing this situation must be for you. It must not only be frustrating for her mom because she doesn't know what to do to help and nothing seems to help, but it must also be heartbreaking to have your little granddaughter so distraught. This is not an uncommon problem at your daughter's age because bonding is such an important developmental part of being three. This is an age where there are so many developmental leaps and surges happening that anxiety is very prevalent.
And you kiss the object and you give it to her and hug her. Then you tell her how when she has the cloth, it's like you're with her. You do this a few times, letting her know how that when she has the handkerchief, she can feel good that it's like you are there with her, your love is there with her. Do this a few times.
Okay. Now, her mom needs to take care of this cloth and have it accessible for when this occurs to be able to remind her of how daddy's love is there with her. And she keeps reminding her of it. The key is repetition. Both by the father and the mother. The mother is key here as well, because she has to keep repeating that the handkerchief is daddy's love being there with her. Because the daughter may take a while to test if mommy really means it.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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