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Dr. Gupta
Dr. Gupta, Doctor (MD)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7968
Experience:  Board Certified practicing Pediatrician experienced in common parenting issues.
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We just got a baby girl. We were very careful throughout the

Resolved Question:

We just got a baby girl. We were very careful throughout the entire pregnancy by doing regular visits to hospital and private medial centres. We were very concerned about Down Syndrom but every single doctor assured us that the baby is as it should be. Unfortunately our newborn has Down Syndrom ( nobody in our families got it). We are totally crushed and very disappointed. After several long days of discussion we decided to leave this baby for somebody else. Can we legally notify the hospital that we don't want this baby and ask them to find some other parents for it? The baby is still in the hospital under observation.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Gupta replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Gupta :

I am sorry to hear about your newborn baby's problems

Dr. Gupta :

I understand that this is a tough decision for everyone concerned

Dr. Gupta :

As far as giving up the baby for adoption is concerned, there are many ways that you can go about it

Dr. Gupta :

1. You can ask the hospital to help you get in touch with a licensed adoption agency

Dr. Gupta :

2. You can also contact an independent third party agency directly

Dr. Gupta :

3. You can contact any parents who are interested in adoption and then finalize the same sitting with the respective legal assistants

Dr. Gupta :

In your specific case, the hospital will assist you in contacting an appropriate agency for adoption

Dr. Gupta :

Now I would like to discuss something slightly trickier

Dr. Gupta :

You need to be sure that you are making the right choice

Dr. Gupta :

I am not passing any judgments here, but we have seen many mothers who suffer from a lot of guilt AFTER giving up the baby for adoption

Dr. Gupta :

I would recommend that you read a couple of the links I am sending as well to get some perspective

Dr. Gupta :

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1090103/Why-I-Downs-syndrome-baby-adoption--loving-mother-took-in.html

Dr. Gupta :

http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2012/10/22/autism/my-child-with-down-syndrome-is-not-a-gift-from-god/

Dr. Gupta :

http://avivahwerner.com/2013/07/25/questioning-reasons-for-giving-up-baby-with-down-syndrome/

Dr. Gupta :

I would also suggest that you may consider an 'open adoption' wherein you may have contact with the baby later as well, to know how she is doing.

Dr. Gupta :

This may be a policy thing and may vary as per different agencies, and adoptive parents as well

Dr. Gupta :

I would like to offer you my full support, since whatever way you choose is difficult,

Dr. Gupta :

Do remember to accept the answer if this was helpful,

Dr. Gupta :

Warm regard

Dr. Gupta :

Dr Gupta, MD

Customer:

Thank you for the answer.

Customer:

This is very tough decision for us but we beleive that the baby will be way more happy with somebody else. It would be best if she go to somebody who will truly love her and it will appreciate her presence. We will go for this open adoption. We want to visit the baby from time to time, send gifts. We also want the baby to know what happened, explain it to her. We don't want to forget about her and pretend nothing happened. We will live with this guilt for the rest of our lives with hope that the baby will forgive us once she is grown up.

Customer:

For sure we will have to go to visit some doctor who will help us get back to our normal lives if possible

Customer:

I will be in contact. Thank you

Dr. Gupta, Doctor (MD)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7968
Experience: Board Certified practicing Pediatrician experienced in common parenting issues.
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