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Eveningstargazer
Eveningstargazer, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 155
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)
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This is a mental health question. For my own peace of mind

Resolved Question:

This is a mental health question. For my own peace of mind I am seeking answers about the son I gave up for adoption. It seem he was a lovely and good child who never cried until he started school at age five. In primary school he was naughty and disruptive and fought with other children and was expelled from a couple of schools. He must have been pretty unmanageable for this to happen. He himself told me in letters that he had the most loving, kind and generous parents he could have wished for, never wanted for anything and doesn't appear to have any resentment or hang-ups about being adopted because he apparently always knew of this. When he got to high school he was sent to a top Catholic private boys' school but was so difficult he was suspended from there but finally settled down when he was allowed to go to a co-ed comprehensive school. After leaving school he followed the 'festival trail' and ended up homeless. His parents and a friend bailed him out and he got a small bed-sitter. Unfortunately he seems to have got into fights and ended up in jail for a while. The agency doesn't know what is wrong with him or whether he was ever diagnosed or treated but there is obviously something seriously wrong to make him end up like this in spite of a secure loving home. He is categorised as mentally ill so can you suggest from the symptoms what it might be? I have two daughters and three grandchildren and need to know if he could have inherited something from me or is it random.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Eveningstargazer replied 2 years ago.
Good Afternoon, I will be doing my best to assist you today. There are many reasons your son could be experiencing these difficulties. Due to his stable environment, it does appear that his behaviors are directly related to a mental health concern. This could be something as simple as ADD (although over-diagnosed, for those who truly have the disorder typically experience struggles in school, often get into fights, and have difficulty adjusting appropriately in social situations), to something more complex such as bi-polar personality disorder which causes individuals to fluctuate between significant depressive states and high-functioning positive or sometimes even manic states. Most mental health is inherited in some way and lies dormant until something switches it on such as a stressor or environment. Write down a list of mental health symptoms that other members of your family have, including generations before you. This will give you a clearer picture of what you might be dealing with. In terms of coping with it, or assisting your children and grandchildren through their own symptoms, open communication about mental health is the first step towards acceptance and learning new coping skills. As I said before, most people have some sort of mental health history, it is just a matter of teaching appropriate coping skills, and fostering an environment of acceptance that will promote a healthy lifestyle.
It is my hope that I have fully satisfied you with my answer. If you need further clarification, please do not hesitate to respond to this post.
Thank you!
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