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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
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what can I do my son keeps kicking and smacking me and he wont

Resolved Question:

what can I do my son keeps kicking and smacking me and he wont listen when I say no
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thanks for your question. How old is your son and how long has this been going on? Have you tried anything to stop it yet and if so what has that been?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

my son is four and all I,ve tried is saying no

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
Hi,
Thanks for the additional information. I understand hiw frustrating this can be. At this age his behavior may be even playful and he may be engaging in this behavior because he feels comfortable with you and can let out his playfulness or frustration. However, it is important he learns the boundaries now, so it is good that you are wanting to change this behavior. The basis of all child behavior is them knowing the limits and showing respect at all times. Children can express how they feel even if we do not agree, but needs to be done with respect. The sooner they learn this the easier parenting will be. When he hits you I would change your tone of voice to a stern one. You do not need to yell, but rather just change the tone. Tell him he is to not hit Mommy or anyone for that matter. Explain to him why hitting is wrong and why we should treat others the way we want to be treated. Ask him how he would feel if you or someone else hit him for no reason and have a discussion about that. All children grow at different stages and have short attention spands, so I would keep it short and simple. You also may want to have the conversation about this behavior at a time when he is calm, in a good mood, and not engaging in this behavior. He will be more prone to actually listen at that time. You can also warn him that there will be consequences for his actions and when he hits you he will get a time out. You can sit him or stand him in the corner for 5 minutes or you can take his favorite toy, game, tv, or etc away for a certain period of time you feel comfortable with. Make the rules and consequences clear and then follow through. Consistency is key. He may not change overnight, but as you repeat what I explained he will see you are serious and will not enjoy the consequences. Therefore, will lead to change. Be patient and consistent. He is still young. It is easy to change this behavior now rather than when he gets older.
I wish you the very best and please let me know if I can be of further help.
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