I have several hugely important questions.
1) My daughter (8 yrs) returned from weekend contact yesterday having done a 2 km run with her father. She had painful blisters on her feet. She said she had been running without socks. I asked if she had told her F and she said that Yes she had told him her feet were painful, but he had made her keep running.
You may recall that he put her into the "mini mile" a couple of months ago and she fell and injured herself and had to be attended in an ambulance - she was not wearing proper footwear. You also know that she capsized the first time she was taken kayaking with her father as she was in a one man boat with him.
She was limping today and I mentioned the blisters to a friend who said she thought this was "abuse" and that I should report it to the social services. I want to check what you think.
2) My daughter is moving to a new school come September. My now partner and I are paying her school fees. Her father refuses to contribute at all financially to an independent education. I want her F to have as absolutely little to do with her new school as possible but he does have parental responsibility. There is a Child arrangements Order in place which directs he have contact at certain times in term-time. These are after school on a Weds and one week in four after school on a Friday. Then also at weekends. I am the Resident parent and prime carer.
To what extent can I control F's interactions with the new school?
Is he entitled to visit the school at times when he is not directed to be having contact? Can he visit my daughter at school at times he is not to be having contact?
3) I have been emailing F concerning my share of the proceeds form the sale of our house. In a recent email he wrote: "
It is fairly realistic to say, that I'll never get a job as a teacher again. This is based on a discussion with my former head Stuart, who described me as 'virtually unemployable' due to the DBS notes of allegations of sexual misconduct with Lily. That assessment is backed up by the fact that, out of numerous job applications for teaching posts in maths and science, where there is a national shortage, I did not get any interviews. Hence I am living - and probably will be living for the foreseable future - off my savings."
On the registration forms, which I have to declare contain truthful information, for the new school, I was asked to give details of my daughter's other parent. I have given his name, address etc and there was a question as to his occupation. I asked F what I should state on the form. He texted me to tell me to state he was a teacher. I texted that I would not do so unless he provided proof of employment. He texted asking to see the form so I scanned it to him. He replied that I should state he was a teacher and self-employed. I called him and asked him directly if he was in fact a teacher. He would not give me an answer but started the mind games he used to employ - he kept repeating the words "I have texted you haven't I?" etc. He would not say the word "Yes".
I am unsure as to why he wishes me to state he is a teacher on our daughter's new school registration form. I am unsure as to whether he is asking me to commit fraud of a sort. He has said that if I do not write this then he himself will write to the new school stating he is a teacher.
The school will receive our daughter's file in which there is information about the allegations of sexual abuse and the findings of the court. I will also be writing a confidential letter to the head with my partner, stating our social circumstances and outlining the details of the contact Order. There is a clause in the Order which states that I am able to disclose the order, the court's findings from the fact finding to her school. But I don't wish to cause trouble. But I do want F out of my life as much as possible once I move away to our new home.
Is F doing anything criminal? What should I tell the new school?
Many many thanks