Why is it that I can never make any meaningful friendships and relationships with people these days? I feel so lonely and empty all the time. None of my friends ever come to visit me, and I have to do all of the work to visit them if I ever want to see them. It's always exclusive meetings, where I don't get to meet anyone else. I feel in such despair all the time, as I seem to be controlled by everyone elses movements, and yet no one appreciates me and my life. I feel so low and cry myself to sleep sometimes. I have had arguments with friends about this, and end up falling out with people, yet why should I do all the travelling and work to keep the friendship alive? I don't want to have to be forced to continually make new friends, as I want friends that have known me from before, but theyr'e never prepared to make any effort.
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I am 47 at the moment, and live in London. I lived in Bristol up until 5 years ago where most of my contacts are.
My family live 50 miles away, but they do not speak to me at all. We fell out years ago, over their favouritism towards my brother.
I have one school friend who lives about 5 miles away, but it's always me that visits.
Other friends are from work, or social contacts. I don't have many here in London. And the one's I had in Bristol all seem to have deserted me since I have come to London.
I am single, and never seem to establish any kind of relationship, which is very depressing for me as I had wanted to try to have some kind of family of my own.
I just get very frustrated and depressed about everything, but no one seems to understand at all.
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