Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective
I believe that I can help you.
I am so sorry that you have been betrayed. You want to have some kind of closure and he wants you to to ignore this huge event and just be jolly and not worry about it.
Perhaps he thinks that you will forget about it, just as he thought you would never find out about the affair. He does not give you much credit, has no understanding of your feelings, and feels no obligation to try to at least give you the understanding that you deserve.
Perhaps he is a narcissist, needing admiration and sexual domination from others to make him feel "complete". Narcissists are liars, con-artists, and worst of all, are incapable of feeling any empathy for others. They do not have that ability.
You must try to see this revelation now as a blessing in disguise, before you went further in the relationship and found out later.
I understand how hurt you are but at least you know the truth and are no longer believing in a man who does not really exist. The truth is sometimes brutally painful, but it has set you free to continue your quest for life, a bit sadder but a lot wiser.
I shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC