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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 715
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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im in a living hell. my wife is making my life very miserable

Customer Question

im in a living hell. my wife is making my life very miserable but i feel that i cant leave her because of our children
she is at her worst when they play her up as she cant cope
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 4 years ago.

Hi! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.

Wow, it sounds truly horrible for you. It keeps reminding me of husbands I've worked with and am working with in therapy via Skype who feel that miserable. Their wives either were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or the husbands had been spending enough time online looking up behavior similar to their wives' behavior that they got to BPD. Working with husbands of wives with BPD sounds so disappointed and angry and not knowing what to do like you sound. Has she been diagnosed with any particular disorder?

Does she see herself as having any mental health issue(s)?

You mention 2 sessions. Was this psychotherapy? Are you two or is she getting any treatment right now? If so, what type? How is it going?

If not, when was the last treatment? What type of treatment was it? Was it helpful?

I know you're staying because of the kids (also what I hear from the husbands I work with). How old are they? Are you sure it's the best for them to be in a situation like this where you're so unhappy?

Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.

Dr. Mark

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

as far a sshe is concerned i am the problem . not hands on with the children not on the same hymn sheet etc etc.


I go for relationship counselling but she doesnt come any more. in fact I have to leave now for my appointment.


are we able to continue this tomorrow?

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 4 years ago.
Yes. The format is really not time dependent: you can reply when you log back on and then I will reply when I'm logged on. Okay?

I'm glad you're going to counseling. Is it helping? In what ways?

That she thinks you're the problem is consistent with a number of mental health issues. Are you working in therapy to get strategies to help you cope? Or to ease yourself out of the marriage?

Dr. Mark

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