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I would like to assist you with your question.
I can understand how frustrating and hurtful this situation is. A lack of affection and a limited sex life is not what you expected when you got married. Certainly the romantic and sexual behaviors of the early weeks and months of a relationship tend to reduce somewhat over time...but what is happening now is not fulfilling. I agree that having sober sex is far more intimate and preferable over what you are now experiencing....and that you have every right to have a honest and open discussion about this.
I can understand that you were too frustrated to have a conversation yesterday...but please do get this on the calendar so that you stop holding on to the frustration and pain.
Having urged you to have a conversation, I want to also offer a few ideas. Depending on what your husband says...you may want to consider seeing a marital therapist so that you can talk this out with a professional. If part of the issue is that boredom has entered the bedroom...I would like to suggest the book: Sex is Fun. This is a workbook type book that couples find non-threatening and easy to use.
Now to your thoughts about his quips about you making a million dollars so he can retire. I encourage you to tell him that his quips about money bother you greatly and that you want him to stop talking in this way. You already are under significant pressure and his remarks are disrespectful. Perhaps he does not realize how this comment bothers you. I would give him the benefit of the doubt here and approach him by telling him directly that you feel hurt, upset, and disturbed when he pressures you about making money. Ask him if he realizes how this impacts you. If he seems surprised by your comment...then fine...it was innocent on his part. But if he gets defensive or upset, then you can clarify and discuss how hurtful and unfair this is to you.
I await your reply.
Thank you, I agree with what you have to say. I think I just needed to hear it from someone else.
I'm glad I could be of help to you. If you should ever need my assistance in the future, just ask for me by name and I will be notified.