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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Having trouble with husband in foul temper all the time very

Customer Question

Having trouble with husband in foul temper all the time very verbally aggressive to me and 2 kids not sure where to go for help
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 3 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation you and your children have been undergoing.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me for how long have you been married and how long ago did he start being this abusive?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No form of abuse is acceptable, whether it is verbal, emotional, physical, financial or sexual, even more when vulnerable children are involved.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

These are two very important sources where you could get help to effectively cope with this tough situation:

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

and http://www.cosc.ie/en/COSC/Pages/WP08000140 The National Office for the Prevention of Domestic, Sexual and Gender-based Violence

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am here to dialogue about it if you want to join the chat

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for being here.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me more about your situation,answering my questions?

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 3 years ago.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
Rafael M.T.Therapist : I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation you and your children have been undergoing.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Could you please tell me for how long have you been married and how long ago did he start being this abusive?
Rafael M.T.Therapist : No form of abuse is acceptable, whether it is verbal, emotional, physical, financial or sexual, even more when vulnerable children are involved.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : These are two very important sources where you could get help to effectively cope with this tough situation:
Rafael M.T.Therapist : http://www.womensaid.ie/?gclid=CJvf15z66LkCFSs72wod4CYABg WOMAN'S AID
Rafael M.T.Therapist : and http://www.cosc.ie/en/COSC/Pages/WP08000140 The National Office for the Prevention of Domestic, Sexual and Gender-based Violence
Rafael M.T.Therapist : I am here to dialogue about it if you want to join the chat
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Thank you for being here.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Could you please tell me more about your situation,answering my questions?
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 3 years ago.
If you have no time to reply, no problem. I would continue to wait in case you do. Just wanted to add this other link, where you could find concrete support and resources for your husband's poor anger control problem: http://www.difficultemotions.com/

Anger is not a primary feeling, but one that arises when the person is unable to cope with life issues or stressors creating core feelings from sadness, to fear, frustration or nay other painful feeling. Thus we end acting out through anger the emotions and feelings we have been holding in, which could ruin the person's temperament and mood, and from there relationships and everything else.

It gets very serious because without an effective solution, anger and aggression turn into abuse, violence, and no matter if it is not physical but exclusively verbal or emotional, since they could harm a spouse and children even more than physical abuse. This is why professional support is so necessary.

The links I have provided could offer guidance and contact information to get the help you need from these well established organizations. On the other hand individual, marriage and family counseling and psychotherapy are the best sources of support when issues like these ones appear. You could directly ask your family doctor for a referral to mental health services or directly ask for services at any local clinic or private practice. Previous organizations could refer you too to these professionals and offer programs on anger management and for coping with and healing from any form of abuse or violence.

Your husband needs to work on his feelings and issues leading to them, in order to be and feel fine, since from there he would be able to respect, love and take good care of you and your children. But if he refuses to get necessary help, you still have to get adequate support for yourself and children. Also please get all the help you can from your support system, namely healthy family members and close friends.

I hope this helps.

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