Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
It seems that I latched onto your question before I realized that it was you..
You have a very serious case of BPD which will need a long period of therapy. Your disorder involves cutting, suicide attempts, extreme outbursts of anger, and a great deal of difficulty maintaining social relationships.
There is a big difference between hearing a few kind words of encouragement on a chat and actually making you whole again.
You must treat this seriously.
PLEASE get the books that I suggested and learn all you can about this disorder and about the treatment.
You will do better getting the workbook than chatting with someone online and will cost you a lot less in the long run.
I do not recommend trying to fix this online, with even the best therapist.
If you still want to try then let me know and I shall opt out and try to see if anyone wants to take this up.
Elliott, MAE, .LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
I bought the book called the borderline personality disorder survival guide book. This is the only one similar to what you have suggested on the apple store in which I downloaded on my phone. I am reading it now but I guess you're right. I will phone the mental health team tomorrow first thing to inquire about this.