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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this situation.
It could be very sad and frustrating to find yourself in this position, after ten years in the relationship, trusting and sharing with your partner, then suddenly having him changing his mind about something do important. It seems obvious the loss may have triggered this reaction, which doe snot make it ant easier, but just adds extra pain to your hearts, which have already been grieving.
I think there could still be some hope here. It is too soon to know if his change is something that would remain or an intense emotional and protective reaction to the traumatic experience of not having his mother any more with you. i believe he needs time to vent, to process his feelings of pain, and heal from this life issue, then he would be in a better position to define if this sudden change, powerfully affecting your relationship and life together is what he really wants or not.
I strongly suggest him to consider individual psychotherapy for processing his grief, ideally group therapy too, or active participation in a support group, which could complement and empower the benefits of individual therapy.
Couples counseling or psychotherapy coudl be necessary to, for you to work on coping together as a couple with the impact this painful situation has had on him,
Does it make sense?
I can see you are online and have joined the chat but have not replied,a nd wonder if the chat interface is presenting a bug, which uses to happen often here.
Could you please let me know if you are able to read my input?
I will change from chat to postings in order to make sure you can read my input and dialogue with me as necessary. I am sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your understanding.
Thanks for your answer, what should be my first reaction when he comes back from the break? to speak to him normally? ignore him for a while?ask him that I need break too?