Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help with this situation.
It is very possible to fall in lover or stay in love with someone who does not suit us a all.
You are, by your description, a great prize for a potential partner. You have a happy disposition, you are smart, your are faithful, and you are very attractive.
He already had your love but he still want to control you in the most primitive way: by putting you down. He is not particular generous and does not show you the appreciation that you deserve
Therefore, you wisely sent him out of your life.
This was the best thing for you because he is not really suited to you and treats you with little respect and with some abuse.
When we are with someone for awhile we get bonded to them or stuck to them. It is like a habit that is hard to break.
Your mind told you that you needed to move on with your life, but your heart is finding trouble letting go.
Sometimes it is best to think with your heart, and others with your mind. In this case, you need to stay with your decision and keep him out of your life for good.
It will be for YOUR good and you will find someone better.
Try to keep him out of your life and, day by day, little by little, he memory will become smaller and smaller and then you will be free.
It's like giving up drinking or drugs. You have to get off and then you have to STAY off.
What can you do?
Don't see him. Don't respond to him. Block your email address. Block your phone number. Find others to hang out with and stay away from his crowd.
Promise yourself to do these things in full, and then keep your promise. You will begin to recover and then it will tgo faster and faster.
I shall keep you in my prayers for strength.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC