Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I am so sorry to hear how much you have suffered in your relationship, lost friends, and almost lost your life.
There is no reason for you to ever get back with him again or to communicate with him. He led you to try to take your life and didn't even care enough to see you or comfort you.
It is a great think that you ended it and will be a great think if you NEVER ever look back.
I shall keep you in my prayers for your happiness.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC