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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Hi I broke up with my first boyfriend about a month and a half

Customer Question

Hi I broke up with my first boyfriend about a month and a half ago. We lasted for a little over 3 years. He was my first love. I'm 18 now and He's 20. The first year was amazing we have a very similar mentality and we get along very well. However something happened 9 months after we're going out. A guy at a party kissed me. It was only a smack because I pushed him away immediately. When I got home I told my boy friend. He was very mad at me and the guy although I didn't like what happened. I tried my best to prove to him that he's the only one I love. After this incident every time we argue, that issue always comes up therefore I'm always the one who says sorry. It carried on and carried on. We have an on and off relationship. I break up with him but 10 mins later I get back with him. But every time he breaks up with me it lasts for days. We broke up last year in December. Then got back in June this year. So we had 6 months apart. I though everything was better..

When he broke up with me last december, I attempted to kill my self. I ended up being in hospital. I was there for a couple of days and he did not even visit me. He said sorry through text. He was trying to stop me through text but I felt like nobody cared. I called him while I was in the hospital and he said that we're never getting back together. It was a nightmare for me. I was still chasing him even after that. After about a month I started the no contact rule to help me move on. So I stop contacting him up until about the end of May this year. We then got back together on June.

The first year of our relationship was great. I still had my social life. Then I started blocking my friends and rejecting invitations because I felt like I would rather spend time with my boyfriend. I lost everyone. I only had him. So I felt like I had no one when he left. I started going out again and have fun and have friends again. I have this gay bestfriend of mine and in July this year we we're out with friends and he gave me a hickey as a joke. We we're drunk and I got pissed off then forgave him because I knew it didnt mean anything anyway. We did not kiss or anything. He did it because I got a pixie hair cut so people at work will see it. It was all for the joke. My ex got really angry. He was so angry at me. But then again he calmed down and we were okay again.

I broke up with him because he got mad when I went to go to Manchester for the weekend I stayed at my friends house who is a girl. My gay best friend was there in Manchester too but he stayed at his friends house. When my ex found out that I was hanging out with him he was very mad. I felt like he wanted me to choose him or my best friend. He said so many hurtful things to me. I was so hurt so I decided to end it. He thinks I will cheat on him for my gay bestfriend. He's gay. I have no feelings for him. He's just my best friend and he doesnt understand it. I guess I can't blame him though. My bestfriend even said sorry to him about what happened but then he swore at him and said loads of unnecessary things. He even said that me and my bestfriend can go f*ck ourselves. Its nasty isnt it? i have not seen him since I went to manchester. I broke up through text and not seen him since I came back here. We don't speak to each other any more. Im trying to move on but I feel like I will never get over him. Do you think it was good that I ended it? I felt like it would just be a cycle of us breaking up and making up if the relationship continued.

Thanks
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I am so sorry to hear how much you have suffered in your relationship, lost friends, and almost lost your life.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

There is no reason for you to ever get back with him again or to communicate with him. He led you to try to take your life and didn't even care enough to see you or comfort you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is a great think that you ended it and will be a great think if you NEVER ever look back.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you in my prayers for your happiness.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

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